Thursday, December 17, 2009

6 Months Old

Miss Marryn is 6 months old today....I can't believe how quickly the first half of her first year has gone! I love this stage though and she's so adorable. Saying dada already and eating some are a bunch of my fave pics of her :D

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

2 Weeks left

Well, there are only two weeks left of 2009. This year has been a good and bad year.

I have my oldest son full time now, meaning no more trips to dads on the weekend where we miss out on including him in family outings and get togethers.

We had our beautiful daughter 6 months ago tomorrow.

We got officially engaged 4 days ago!! YAY!

We lost a couple people this year...that was the bad part. They are loved and missed very much.

My wishes for 2010 are this:

~Happiness and health for all those I know and love.

~Financial stability (which has been pretty good in the last 6 months so I hope it continues!)

~A beautiful wedding that goes off without a hitch...only 10.5 months away!

2009 was a very memorable year for me. I turned 30 and almost all my dreams came true!! 2010 will be just as memorable because the last of my BIG wedding...will be coming true. I'm very much looking forward to this year.

What do you wish for this year?

Much love! xo

Friday, December 4, 2009

Chapter Two - The Chase

When I met him, I didn't have any expectations that it would go anywhere. I was only 16 and he was 21 with a 1 year old daughter. Right away my gut told me he was too old for me, I tended to date younger guys. The group that hung out there was fun though so I continued to go back a few times to hang out and get high. Because that's what we did when we were 16 with no rules...we smoked pot. It wasn't until a few months later that I realized I hated the high and stopped smoking it all together. I already didn't drink because I didn't like the feeling it left me with, not to mention my vomitting phobia.

One night, I decided not to go there for whatever reason and he called me and convinced me to come anyway, he would make me dinner. No one had ever made me dinner except my mom so I agreed and he came and picked me up on his bike. Our dinner consisted of Lipton's chicken noodle soup and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches eaten at the coffee table on the floor. I hated the way he ate. He chewed with his mouth open and belched while we were eating. It drove me nuts and was enough for me to make the decision that I would not be dating him. We hung out a bit longer and then I made an excuse about forgetting medication that I'd left at "home" where I was staying and left. I hadn't planned on returning.

Over the course of the week following he called everyday and tried to hang out. Being as young as I was and not always the "popular" one, I enjoyed the attention and finally agreed to go over there again. I met his daughter and fell in love with her, she was adorable and liked me well enough it seemed. He said he liked how I cared for her and said he'd like to have another someday. It was the bait and hook he'd needed to reel me right in. I'd wanted a baby for as long as I could remember. Yes, even at that age. I knew people would be mad. I didn't care. I had lived my life full of trying to make people like/love me the way I'd needed to be loved. I only wanted to be accepted and I knew at a very young age that my child would love me for who I was and I wouldn't need to "try" with them. There would be instant and uninhibited love. I so wanted that. I so needed that.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Chapter One - The Introduction

A lot of pretty crappy things have happened between my ex and I and our son in the 13years I have known him. He has done things, I have done things and our son has been put in the middle on numerous occasions. I have made BIG mistakes and plenty of them. In my defense, I was only 17 when I had him and knew nothing of being a parent and to top it off I had every adult I knew tell me I couldn't do it and bring parenting at a young age into a negative light so often that I almost gave up.

There were people who would do whatever they could to help me fail and people who helped if they thought it would benefit them. Either way, when I grew up some and realized just how much I loved my son and remembered why I'd had him in the first place, it was no question that I needed to fight as hard as I could to get him back. It was a long hard road that saw me kicked many times while I was already down so far I didn't think I could get any lower.

It all started when I was 16 years old. I had a pretty crappy life living at home. My step father was not very nice to me and treated me like the middle step child I was and my mother worked a lot and had her own issues and either didn't see or chose not to see. Either way, just about everything was all my fault. I had more chores than a teenager should have because I did my little brothers share as well. When my older step brother lived with us I was called names and treated poorly every day...I have proof of this on a home movie from 1990. But, I digress, the point I was getting at was that I left home at 16, all of that was a part of the reason why.

I lived with friends on and off, here and there and eventually moved to Welland. I acted like a typical 16 year old with no rules...I walked to the store at 4am in my sock feet just because I could. I went to Tim Horton's at all hours of the night because no one was telling me I needed to be in at a certain time...I had never had that before. Having to be home at 9pm when all of your friends are allowed out til 11pm is a BIG drag and makes you feel like a HUGE loser when you're 16 years old.

Anyway, during one of my late night visits to Timmy's, I saw a girl I hadn't seen in years. We went to grade school together and she left after Grade 5. After talking for a few minutes she said, "OMG YOU'LL BE PERFECT FOR MY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOUR!!!" and we made plans to get together the next night.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

On being treated like garbage

Someone owes me some money. I was supposed to get some of it on the 13th and didn't find out until the evening of the 13th that I wouldn't be getting any until the 30th. The other person involved normally emails me to let me know what is going on. She didn't and didn't respond to the two emails I sent. So I texted said person that owes me money. In turn, I received a harsh text message that basically said, "You'll get what you get when you get it" because he "didn't have much time to write". I argued that a "I'm not sure I'll let you know asap" would have taken the same amount of time as the text I did receive but, whatever. I then received an email from the female party basically asking "how dare I" contact the male party as he is busy with his new job and has been away training and doesn't know what's going on with the situation and that he had already let me know that I was getting $X amount of money on or about December 1st. In the same email I was also told that I was basically asking for too much and that I was receiving 1 payment a month which is all that is required and so I should, in not so many words, shut up and take what I'm getting, I'll get the rest when it's convienient. Then, even though it is the male party who owes this money, I was told by the female party not to bother the male party about it again. I again had to argue, if you knew money was coming to you, would you not want to know how much and when? Is this an unreasonable request? I think not.

To say the least, this really PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF.

When I sent the text message, all I was asking was when and how much. I did NOT demand anything. I did not threaten anyone. And I sure as shit wasn't rude about it. However, I get nothing but ignorance back. From people that asked me to do them a favour by not having authority involved in the money payment. I agreed. I usually do, because typically? I'm not an unreasonable, unagreeable person. These people do nothing but cause me grief.

If it's not one thing, it's another...and I really would like to post the extent of it but I won't due to privacy issues...but really...this is just the tip of the iceberg and I could go on and on...I could probably write a book detailing the crap that has gone on. What I really want to do is say screw it and take it to a higher level and force payments. Then I don't have to deal with thier inability to communicate civilly at all.



Friday, November 13, 2009

Early Birthday Surprise, complete with Nikki Payne!

So, because I have the best future husband in the WORLD, I was pleasantly surprised yesterday by a birthday dinner that I had no idea about!! It was so wonderful to have everyone there for my birthday, even being a month early, because usually no one can make it so close to Christmas!

We had dinner and then watched a comedy show including Nikki Payne who we met in the lobby (!), as well as Johnny Gardhouse, Paul Haywood, Dave Hudson, Terry McGurrin, Marc Sinodinos, Winston Spear, Mark Walker, Pete Zedlacher, and Mark Matthews (it was a benefit show called Komedy for Kidneys, all Canadian performers)!!! It was AWESOME and totally unforgettable and if it was at all possible to love him more, I do!!!

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

In response to an anonymous comment

I received a comment in response to my last post about how ridiculous this whole swine flu thing is and I wanted to respond here because otherwise I wasn't sure if it would be read and the commenter had implied that I was uneducated about the shot and I wanted to defend myself about that because that is certainly not the case.

I had a debate with someone else about this yesterday as well and I'm really starting to wonder if the majority of the public is just that naive that they think that our health care system and government are really that trustworthy that they won't do something to line their pockets even more...

This shot is NOT well researched. It is new. It has not been widely tested and I do NOT trust it.

There is a ton of media hype...but not only that, there is gov't, health care and doctor hype too.

This vaccine may be made like all the other ones however there are signifigant risks associated with injecting yourself with not only Thiomersal but also with Squalene which has not been found to be completely safe.

It's not the use of the virus that I worry's all the other shit that they put in it. And if you read about Thiomersal and the toxicology, it states that it is incredibly dangerous upon inhalation, ingestion and contact with the skin yet we are injecting this into us??? Yeah, that sounds ok to me *rolls eyes*.

The commenter said:

"In reality, the risk of a really nasty flu far outweighs the risk of the vaccine. Even if you don't care if you get the flu, I do. I care that you could easily spread it to others who may not tolerate it (infants, elderly, people with compromised immune systems, ets)."

Yes, this is a REALLY nasty flu. However, I know of several people who have contracted it (been tested and diagnosed) who, while have been very sick, have recovered just fine.

People die from this flu. That is a truth. But people die from the regular flu. People can die from the common cold if they get sick enough for it to develop into something else like pneumonia. The truth is, we can't be sure what is going to kill us...including a flu or a vaccine. A few statistics and bits of info I think are important to take into consideration if you are contemplating this shot:

*The World Health Organization (WHO) has classified the 2009 spread of a novel H1N1 avian/swine/human influenza virus as a ‘pandemic’. But numerous doctors have remarked that it has been no more deadly or disabling than seasonal influenza virus that circulates yearly.

* Human trials only just began in mid-August. It’s unethical to recommend a vaccine which hasn’t even received the usual minimal safety testing let alone long term testing.

*A recent WHO Press Conference confirmed that there is no safety data regarding the use of squalene adjuvanted vaccines for pregnant women, asthmatics and children between the ages of 6 months to 3 years. Yet both pregnant women and young children are targeted groups on the priority list for injection, along with health care providers.

*The vaccination program for the 1976 swine flu "pandemic" was discontinued after 3 weeks due to the unexpected outcome. Over 500 cases of Guillain-Barre Syndrome, a paralyzing neurological condition, were reported as a result of vaccination, responsible for 25 deaths. Contrarily, the virus itself was responsible for 1 death and 13 hospitalizations (these are US stats). Experts assure the population that this scenario will not be repeated, because they have tweaked the vaccine into its updated version. However, without adequate preliminary testing, the possibility of unknown side effects must be taken into consideration.

*This is the first year mock vaccines have been used to gain FDA approval. The vaccines that have been tested are not the same vaccines your children will be given.

* 18 reasons why you SHOULDN'T get the vaccine

* Deaths associated with H1N1

*According to the World Health Organization: "Every winter, tens of millions of people get the flu. Most are only ill and out of work for a week, yet the elderly are at a higher risk of death from the illness. We know the worldwide death toll exceeds a few hundred thousand people a year, but even in developed countries the numbers are uncertain, because medical authorities don't usually verify who actually died of influenza and who died of a flu-like illness."

* AS03-Adjuvanted H1N1 Pandemic Influenza Vaccine product information leaflet


When I post here like I did yesterday, I am posting MY. OPINION.

I am not a doctor...I am not a scientist and I never claimed to be an expert. However I do know that I feel the risk of the vaccine far outweighs the risk of the flu itself FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.

If you want to get the vaccine, all the power to you, good luck, I hope it works out for you.

If I end up sick, I promise to stay home and wash my hands obsessively as not to spread it further...but I do that with any sickness and therefore this is no different.

I am not relying on those vaccinated to "protect me" at all. I'm relying on those who are sick to stay the fuck home until their better as not to spread it to anyone else!!!

And don't forget, just because you have the vaccine, does not mean you're immune!! You can still contract H1N1 so there are no guarantees. Again, another reason to NOT get it in my opinion.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Ahhhh it's the swine flu!!!!


Seriously...I'm not nearly as panicked as the gov't and media WANT me to be.

Yes, it is a flu. Yes, it can be very serious. Yes, there have been deaths.

No, I'm not in a "priority group" for the vax and NO WE WON'T BE GETTING IT!!!!

I don't feel that this has been researched NEARLY enough. I read the leaflet that comes in the box with the vaccine and there is conflicting information on it. That doesn't make me trust ANYONE involved with it. I've been hearing all about the mercury in it and this other stuff that is not good for you as well as all the side effects that could happen including paralysis....YEAH, SIGN ME UP! *rolls eyes*

I don't know why so many people put their faith in this shit. The mass media hype...the way they are PUSHING this on everyone...the fact that 17 people have died from it and yet 3-4 thousand people die from the regular flu every year?

It SCREAMS at me that something is not right about it.

I ask everyone who is even THINKING about getting this shot to PLEASE research it. I really believe that it is dangerous and that the other shoe is about to drop about what could happen to you if you DO get it.

Over and out.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Random with pictures

Ok, I know it's been a month...sorry! Sometimes I forget that people do still read even if they don't comment and really I should be writing more because it's such a great outlet for me. Anyway...I'll try not to forget anymore and I may even try to do that November Blog everyday thing this year...we'll see :)

So, where to start?

I am still in wedding mode BIG time...I now have my bouquet prototype, 24 favours done (probably more, I just started today and I'm not finished working on them, just taking a break)
, my shoes, my dress (half paid for)(no pictures for this either, saving it for the wedding day :)), our reception hall, Marryn's dress (minus the flower, it's detatchable), my bridesmaids gifts (though they will be decorated some how and that part isn't done yet), a church and the invitations (which was what started all of this to begin with hehe). I'm definitely on a roll and as of today there are 12 months and 9 days til our wedding!

Jer is working CRAZY hours right now...7 days a week, 12.5 hours a day for the next couple of weeks. Great for the money, not so much for the time spent with the family but knowing this isn't forever and it's helping us in the long run makes it easier. It will be a nice Christmas he says :)

James is well...on the Volleyball team at school, I'm so proud of him for doing stuff like that! He is still dealing with dad stuff but I try to make it as easy as I can for him. He's not going to his dad's bootcamp graduation in a couple of weeks and know it's making him sad. He really wanted to go but apparently dad didn't get the paperwork in when he was supposed to or something like that and then they also won't have time to drive him home because they're moving a couple of hours away the same's a big mess and honestly I'm kind of glad he's not going because the last time he was with them, the woman dad is with sent James home because he was "misbehaving and didn't deserve to be there"...BS but what can you do...I don't want him to have to deal with something like that again.

Jonah is also well...that said, there isn't too much to report on him...he's spledidly uneventful :) He still says the cutest things like, after being given a new ball by a saleslady at the fashion for fats store, "I love balls!!!" to which I cannot help but laugh...even though it's inappropriate to laugh lol...and to which he asked me why I was laughing, and I said nothing, and he said "Are you laughing at Marryn?" and said yes...because what would you have said?? lol

Marryn is also blissfully well :D She's growing so fast...4 months already and so adorable you could eat her little fingers as an appetizer for the rest of her hehe. I think she's getting a tooth though so once in a while she's a bit be expected though ;)

Other than that, not much is happening...I'm baking bread
like crazy (it's SO good and of course we've all gained 5lbs since I bought the bread machine lol) and baking other stuff more frequently now that my mom has lent me her kitchen aid mixer.

I'm toying with the idea of taking a baking course at the college in the relatively distant future...definitely wouldn't be for a couple of years but I think it's something I'd really enjoy doing.

So I hope everyone is as well as we are...because we are pretty great :D

Much love :)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


So it seems I've a bit of a horseshoe in my behind the last couple of...well, weeks really...about 3-4 weeks ago I was at a candle party and they were doing a draw to win $100 in free product and I won it....then we attended a bridal show on Sunday and won something from one of the travel agencies that were there (we are picking it up tonight, I'm not sure what it is)...Then yesterday I totally found $10 on the ground when I was walking to get Jonah from the bus! I had my own candle party last night and we did that same draw that I won last time and I used my $10 that I found to buy my chances and I WON AGAIN!! I also won several other small prizes throughout the evening and then won the friggin door prize too!! But instead of taking the door prize, because it was my party, I made them draw again and they picked Jer's sister so she got to take the prize home. I think a lottery ticket or trip to the casino or bingo is in order!!

Friday, September 11, 2009

I remember where I was

I had just picked up James from kindergarten and we went to my mother's house for lunch...she was already watching when I got there. I had went back to bed when I got home from dropping James off from school so I didn't find out until around lunch. I was glued to the tv for 3 days. It was so amazing to me that something like this could even happen...that many lives lost and over what?

Today I will sit in quiet reflection for those who's lives were selfishly taken...I won't get into how I think the US gov't had something to do with it...I will just remember that each one of those people who were innocently killed have family grieving somewhere today. I'm sure it's like opening the wound all over again...especially because there is always some sort of memorial thing on tv.

What were you doing when you found out? Did you cry like I did? Did you pour yourself over the internet and tv months later trying to make sense of it all like I did? Did you watch the youtube videos that claim there is a devil in the one fire and this or that in something/somewhere else? Did you listen to the 911 tapes from those who had cell phones on the planes?

Did it make you hug your loved ones closer and thank the universe that they are still here?

Remembering those innocent lives lost on September 11, 2001...may you all rest in peace.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Lyric's Fight

I mentioned in my last post about my friends little guy who is fighting AML can view her blog here: Lyric's Fight

She'll be posting updates about his progress there and now that she has a blog I won't be putting up a donate button, I'm going to ask her if she'd consider doing it...then any donations are going directly to her.

Please wander on over there and leave a supportive comment because she could really use it right now.

Friday, August 21, 2009

More bad news

This past week a VERY good friend of mine had her son (who is like 9) diagnosed with AML leukemia. It happened soooo fast! He literally didn't feel good and had a sore neck for a week, had tests at the children's hospital on Monday and was diagnosed and by Wednesday he'd already had his first round of chemo.

I'm SO, SO sad for her and her family. She's had sooo much on her plate in the last few months and she's such a good person who tries to live healthy and only feed her children healthy food...she does not deserve this.

There will be several fundraisers for them in the near future...anyone reading that lives near me and you want details, I'll be posting them as I get them and I would appreciate ANY support you can give to this family. I've thought about possibly putting up a donate button on here but not sure if I will yet...what do you think?

In other better news, everything is good with my own family (Thank God for that!!!). Marryn is 9 weeks old now and she's getting SOOO big!!! Jonah just turned 5 and goes back to school on the 2nd (and I can't wait!) and James starts grade 7 on the 8th. Boy time flies! He'll be going to camp or Ottawa for his end of the year trip this year. The camp is the same one I went to for my grade 8 end of the year trip and I had a blast there so I'm hoping he gets to go!

Jer and I are well also, we just put down half of our deposit on our reception venue yesterday...boy did that ever make it feel real!!! I also bought my wedding shoes today for FIVE DOLLARS!!! Check them out :)

Anyway, that's it for now...I'll update again soon about my friend's son and the fundraisers...tell me if I should put the donate button up...absolutely all donations will go directly to their family.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Sadness, grief, and anxiety...

This was a very tragic weekend for our family. On Thursday night, Jer found out that their good family friend had passed away from a heart attack at the young age of 51. They were all very close and it was very sad. He went to the viewing on Friday night and then the funeral on Saturday.

Then, just a couple of hours after he got home from the funeral and while we were cooking dinner, we got word that his 4 year old cousin drowned in his pool. When we got the call he still had a faint heartbeat but it didn't look good...he didn't make it through the night. That funeral will be sometime this will be an open casket. I cannot go. I just. Can't.

Is it wrong that it makes my heart jump into my throat when I even THINK about having to see that little 4 year old boy laid out in a box??? I have such bad anxiety about it that I feel like I will throw up (which in turn gives me more anxiety because of my emetophobia) it selfish that I can't go? I can't physically bring myself to walk into that funeral home for the viewing alone?

I will attend the funeral but I will be staying as far away from the casket as I possibly can.

I guess it probably has something to do with the fact that I have a little boy about the same age as him and that just 3 weeks ago he and Jonah played in Jer's dads pool together. It makes me think horrible thoughts and makes me want to sit 3 feet from the pool everytime Jonah is even near it (instead of the 10 feet away I normally sit).

My deepest condolences and sympathies go out to Damien's parents...I can't imagine what they're going through. I would no longer be able to function as a normal human being were it me in their shoes.

RIP will be missed.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah :)

So this will be a random smattering of things going on but I felt I should update again, it's been a while since I updated "goodly" lol...

First of all, I'm SO excited and VERY pleased to announce that I will be getting MARRIED on October 30, 2010!!! Up until now we had played around with some dates and discussed far away details of the future wedding we knew we would one day have but NOW...we went and signed the contract for our reception hall which also happens to be our ceremony site as well...the ball is rolling and the date is now set in stone...10/30/10!!! I do have a wedding blog that I'll be updating and posting pictures of the's on my side bar in the list of blogs I read under "My Wedding Blog" if you want to check it out (Boho mom, check out my banner...made it myself, yep I did!).

Secondly, Marryn is going on 6 weeks old already! HOW THE HELL DOES THE TIME GO SO FAST??? It seemed to be going backward when I was pregnant with her but now it's just flying and she's over a month old already! She's not smiling quite yet but you can see it won't be long until she is. Isn't she sweet?

And lastly, everyone else is doing well...I just got over a bout of mastitis which SUCKED ROYALLY and I had a fever of 104 but I'm much better now. James just got home from a long visit with his dad and we're so glad to have him home...we missed him big time! Jonah will be 5 on feels like yesterday that it was him laid out on my lap nursing for hours!

Hope everyone is well!

Monday, July 13, 2009

Happy 1st Birthday!

Surrobabe Niko is a year old today!! That went fast!

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Welcome Marryn

Marryn Grace Kathryn
Wednesday June 17th, 2009 @ 9:41pm
7lbs 11oz
18 1/4 inches

Everything is wonderful!!!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Wednesday June 17th, 2009


I'm scheduled for an induction at excited!


Wednesday, June 10, 2009

37 Weeks

Officially Full Term!

At my last Dr's appointment I explained to him how I am in complete and utter pain most of the time...I have become non-functional. I can't walk anywhere without starting to sweat from the pain...I can't do stairs, I haven't slept in my own bed in's HORRIBLE! So, even though he's told me several times that there is nothing we can do about the pain but wait it out, at the last appointment, he also said that if everything is ok at my appointment tomorrow that we'll "tentatively book me for an induction on the 18th" at 38 weeks 1 day. He said he wanted to make sure that she will be ok to breathe on her own and all that good baby type stuff so we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

We had our shower about a week and a half ago as well and it went awesome. I'm so thankful to everyone who helped and came out to celebrate our new baby girl! I got SOOOO many clothes! Seriously, I don't think I will have to do laundry, she'll have a different outfit everyday until she's at LEAST a year old!!! Way different from my boys showers where I got "useful" baby care items like soap and receiving blankets instead of clothes...I have come to the conclusion that it's because girls clothes tend to not only be cuter (and of course PINK!)but there is a WAY bigger selection of girls clothes to choose from. Either way, we're very grateful for all of our gifts! Thank you!!!

In other news, summer is almost here (HURRAH!), I'm so excited to let the boys sleep in in the mornings...Jonah has been SO tired since our move because his bus comes ridiculously early. Poor kid...twice I've let him stay home because he was so tired and both times he slept until after 10am! Yesterday I let him sleep in and took him to school late because he just wouldn't go to sleep the night before. I'll be happy when we can just go with the flow and get up and go about our day when we feel like it...though I know by the end of the summer they'll be driving me crazy and I'll be counting down the days til school starts again!! Same old thing every year hehehe.

So, that's about it for an update for now...I'll keep you posted on baby day as I know more!

Thanks for still reading my sparse posts...I haven't been up to/in the mood to post in the last little while with all the pain I've been in. I can't wait for everything to be done so that we can come home with our baby girl and get on with life and I can go back to being a stay at home mom instead of a stay at home lump on the couch because it hurts to much to do anything!!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Brad Paisley

Is one of the biggest *insert horrible name here*'s in the whole world.

I read this blog all the's friggin fantastic!

Long story short though, Brad Paisley and his wife bought some land in some place beside nashville that had a rental property on it that just so happened to house a non-profit organization for kids who get the shit end of the stick most of the time. It had a petting zoo and climbing walls and so on. When he bought it he said the renters could stay...then not long after his MANAGER came out and gave them a very short period of time to get out...and find a place for all those animals and all the equipment that had accumulated for this awesome organization...

So, I just thought I should keep this story going...spread the word about Mr. Paisley and his "greatness" *scoff*.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Busy, busy, busy...

Well, we finally moved into our new apartment last Thursday...I LOVE it. It's awesome here...big windows, lots of light, lots of room and more than one floor! I'm so happy, we've been starting to get the baby's room ready too so it's starting to become a little more real! I can't believe we only have 54 more days to go til my due date!!

We also had a 3D ultrasound 2 weeks ago...we are definitely having a girl! Here are some pictures:

We have a top three names list right now and they are:

Marryn Grace Kathryn

Eve Kathryn Grace


Layla Grace Kathryn

Though anything could change between now and July 1st (or before if she comes early at all).

Anyway, as we get things ready I'll be taking pics and posting them here so stay tuned for nursery photo's...and probably new apartment photos too! Hope everyone is well :)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

What's your fairy name?

Boho mom posted this and I LOVE it!!!

Your fairy is called Gossamer Cornglitter
She is a creator of bounty and harvest.
She lives in spiderwebbed wonderlands and insect grottos.
She is only seen in the light of a shooting star.
She wears tiny black spiders on her dresses. She has butterfly wings the colour of yellow corn.

Monday, March 23, 2009

The Mounties are gonna kick yer ass!!

Has anyone else seen this? Do Americans REALLY think this way??? Seriously? For real? Cuz dude, honestly think we have men in red coats and big brown hats roaming around on horses chasing our bad guys down????? Wow. Time for school little buddy!

I do beleive we are owed an apology...especially considering we've lost 116 soldiers in a war that was not ours to fight to begin with.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

In my home town

We've lost a young soldier. I always get misty when I hear on the news about another Canadian soldier being lost in a war that we didn't start, that we shouldn't be fighting in...but when that soldier is from my home town...oh my God, I am speechless. I didn't know him, but our little town is only 19,000 people...several of my friends did know him. He went to my highschool. He's the same age as my little brother. I'm so sad today.

From the Welland Tribune
Port Colborne soldier killed in Afghanistan
Updated 4 hours ago

PORT COLBORNE — Niagara is mourning the loss of its second soldier killed this month by a roadside bomb in Afghanistan.

Cpl. Tyler Crooks of Port Colborne was one of four Canadian soldiers killed in two separate incidents in Kandhar province, Friday Afghanistan time.

Crooks and Master Cpl. Scott Vernelli, 28, of Sault Ste. Marie, were killed by an improvised explosive device while on foot patrol in the Zhari district.

Both were of November Company, Royal Canadian Regiment, based in Petawawa. Crooks was in the 1st Batallion; Vernelli from the 3rd Batallion.

Trooper Jack Bouthillier of Hearst, Ont., and Trooper Corey Joseph Hayes, of New Brunswick, were killed just hours later when a roadside bomb exploded in the Shah Wali Kot district, a region northwest of the city that is seeing an increase in Taliban activity.

Eight other soldiers were injured in the blasts.

On March 3, Warrant Officer Dennis Brown of St. Catharines, a member of the Lincoln and Welland Regiment, was killed by a roadside bomb northwest of Kandahar.

At a Port Colborne Remembrance Day ceremony in 2007, Crooks, dressed in his fatigues, stood among civilians at the local legion branch.

Then preparing in Petawawa to ship out to Afghanistan the following year, Crooks said the Nov. 11 event is becoming more relevant these days because of the number of Canadians dying overseas.

"It's a day to remember and reflect on all the people who served in the armed forces and helped keep Canada free," he said.

Capt. Scott Costen, public affairs officer for 31 Canadian Brigade Group, said his family plans to issue a written statement today. “Until then, the family asks for privacy,” he said in an e-mail.

Things were coming together for Crooks, who was to turn 24 yesterday. He and beloved fiancée, 23-year-old Kelly Maxwell of Niagara Falls, were planning their wedding and their future together. Crooks was to return from his tour in Afghanistan in one month.

Alex Maxwell, the father of Crooks’ fiancee, called the fallen hero “the son I never had.”

“He was a wonderful kid,” an emotional Maxwell said. “I've got three beautiful daughters, and I just loved him to death. He loved my daughter more than anything in the world.”

Maxwell said yesterday was Crook and his fiancée’s sixth anniversary as a couple.

Kelly worked as a border services agent at the Rainbow Bridge before being transferred to Ottawa.

“They were going together for six years and were planning their life up in the Ottawa area.”

He said Crooks was also a “tremendous hockey player.” He played junior B hockey in Port Colborne and was a star player for the Canadian Army.

Crooks’ picture was shown Feb. 14 on Coach’s Corner, the popular weekly Saturday show that’s part of CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada broadcast. Crooks’ image was also shown on the scoreboard during a Toronto Maple Leafs game.

“He was supposed to meet Don Cherry when he was to come home,” said Maxwell.

“He was always smiling, always laughing. He ribbed me and I ribbed him, always in fun. He never had a bad word about anyone.”

Maxwell continued: "(Crooks) loved being in the army. He loved the outdoors, loved fishing, hunting with his father. He was just an incredible, incredible kid.”

An emotional Port Colborne Mayor Vance Badawey called the death of Crooks “a tragic loss for this community.”

“To lose a young man like this, on his 24th birthday, is hard to take. This was a young man who put his community and his country above himself.”

Badawey, a friend of the Crooks family, said Tyler Crooks was “a great young man, who will be sorely missed by his community.”

“Cpl. Crooks accepted his mission in Afghanistan to contribute to the freedom of democracy that we, as Canadians, enjoy every day,” the mayor said.

A book of condolences will be at city hall for the public to sign.

Niagara Regional Police Sgt. Tim Welychka coached Crooks as a member of the Dunnville Terriers Junior C hockey team from 2001 to 2003.

Welychka said Crooks at one point considered a career in policing but decided instead to pursue a life with the military.

“I was just floored when I found out this morning. Tyler was a great, great kid.”

He said Tyler was well-liked by his teammates.

“People took a shine to him. He was always a pleasure to have in the room. You wished you had 17 more guys just like him, any coach would say that."

Welychka said hockey players and coaches become part of a family. Coaches get to see their young players grow up, excel in their personal and professional lives.

It's a close connection that is hard to put into words, he said.

"Hockey people are like a family. You watch these kids grow up ... and they go out of their way to see how they’re doing (years later). That friendship is always there, that's what makes it so hard. It's a brotherhood, it's family. My heart goes out to his family. It's way too sad."

Before becoming a soldier, Crooks also played junior B hockey for the former Port Colborne Sailors, currently known as the Pirates.

Team owner Tim Toffolo said he recalls Crooks as somebody who had lots of friends and was well-respected by those who knew him.

“Tyler was a very well-liked individual in town. He was dedicated to what he was doing. It’s a sad loss for the city of Port Colborne. He sacrificed his life for a great cause.”

Lakeshore Catholic High School athletic director Dino Germano taught Crooks.

Germano remembers the young man as an avid weight lifter who was very serious about getting into the military.

“He loved to workout — he worked out hard.”

The teacher was deeply saddened that one of his former students had lost his life.

“He was a good kid.”

Germano remembers Crooks seeing the bright side of everything.

“He was always optimistic. He was well-liked.”

Germano said Crooks never forgot where he came from and visited Lakeshore last year to tell his teachers what he was doing with his life.

“He was happy to see the teachers who taught him,” he said. “He was so proud to be in the military.”

Master Cpl. Vernelli and Crooks were both well-known and popular with other soldiers in their company, which is on the cusp of finishing a six-month tour.

Both men were close with the commander of November Company, Maj. Rob McBride, who often joked with Crooks over the radio about sports.

“They were close friends of his,” said Capt. Chris Reeves, the deputy commander of November Company.

Such was his respect for the young soldier that McBride supported Crooks as a candidate for officer training.

“He was getting ready to (be) on that path to be commissioned from the ranks,” Reeves said. “He would have been good.”

Welland MP Malcolm Allen and St. Catharines MP Rick Dykstra said the loss will be deeply felt by the community.

Welland MPP Peter Kormos said while the death of Crooks is tragic for his family and friends, the reason he was in harm’s way in the first place should be a matter of pride.

“We need to remember these young men and woman are not there protecting Canadian turf. They are there to serve human kind,” Kormos said.

“We are saddened by the death of Cpl. Crooks, but we can be proud of the sacrifice he chose to make.”

Brig.-Gen. Jonathan Vance, the commander of Canadian troops in Afghanistan, is urging Canadians not to consider the deaths a failure on the part of anyone, or of the mission itself.

The deaths bring to 116 the number of Canadian soldiers who have died as part of the Afghan mission since it began in 2002.

Crooks’ death marks the third Niagara resident killed in the war-torn country.

Corp. Albert Storm, 36, of Fort Erie died Nov. 27, 2006, after a suicide bomber attack. He was a member of the 1st Battalion, Royal Canadian Regiment, out of Petawawa.

No information regarding funeral arrangements for Cpl. Crooks were made public Friday.

— with files from the Canadian Press and Sun Media

RIP Tyler.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

So I'm not the only one who feels this way??

I know this is a controversial subject but I can't help but feel like someone FINALLY spoke my mind for me...

Welland Tribune, March 10, 2009

Vatican lives in a vacuum

Another International Women's Day has passed and the Roman Catholic Church has started the year badly, predictably, by condemning an abortion for a nine-year-old Brazilian rape victim.

The Vatican is having a difficult time forcing women to have unwanted children, particularly in developing countries.

In Brazil, for example, there are an estimated 1.4 million illegal abortions a year. (The procedure is only allowed in cases of rape or to save the life of the mother). One in four pregnancy-related deaths in the heavily Catholic country is due to complications from an unsafe abortion.

But that hasn't stopped the Catholic church from continuing to place the fetus above the health and economic needs of women.

The Brazilian girl, allegedly raped by her stepfather, was pregnant with twins and was given a legal abortion last week because doctors concluded that continuing the pregnancy could have killed her.

Since the Catholic Church couldn't stop her from having an abortion, the local archbishop spanked the family with a religious penalty -- excommunicating the girl's mother and the doctors.

Memo to the Vatican: They don't care. They made what they felt was the right call under the circumstances. And they undoubtedly believe God is on their side.

Tellingly, the archbishop didn't excommunicate the stepfather, who is now in custody. While he allegedly committed a crime by molesting the girl for years, abortion is the more serious offence, according to the church.

"Human law has no value" when it's contrary to God's law, the archbishop explained. How convenient, of course, that old, rich men who are completely out of touch with the harsh realities of people's lives take it upon themselves to interpret God's will.

And so it goes. The Vatican continues to oppose abortion and millions of women around the world -- many of them Catholics in developing countries -- continue to have them because they don't give a hoot about church teaching on this issue.

About one in five pregnancies worldwide ends in abortion, according to the Guttmacher Institute. Furthermore, it doesn't matter whether abortion is legal or not. Women will still undergo the procedure.

The lowest abortion rates in the world are in western Europe and North America, where birth control is widely available and abortion is overwhelmingly safe and legal.
In contrast, the abortion rate is staggeringly high in Africa and Latin America, where abortion is either illegal or severely restricted.

The Vatican lives in a dream world where every child is a wanted child. You naughty Catholics shouldn't be having sex unless you're planning to procreate! No birth control for you!
In fact, according to the Guttmacher Institute, more than one-third of pregnancies in developing countries are unintended and many of those end in illegal abortions.

The result? About five million women a year are hospitalized for complications due to unsafe abortions.

The police raided a medical clinic in Brazil a while back and seized patient records and the authorities are attempting to prosecute 1,000 women who had illegal abortions. Meanwhile, complications from unsafe abortions are the fifth leading cause of maternal mortality in Mexico.

If given the choice, most women would have a couple of kids -- not six or eight. If the Catholic Church really cared, it would be handing out condoms and birth control pills all over the Third World.

It's almost like the church gets off on female suffering.

That said, I don't believe in abortion as a form of birth control but, come on, seriously, a 9 year old who was raped by her step father, pregnant with twins that could kill her and she is excommunicated????? PLEASE. And the stepfather is NOT excommunicated???? PUH-LEASE! How can they accept someone who has committed a crime on a child, one who just so happens to NOT be in the womb anymore, but not accept someone who had an abortion at the age of NINE, someone who shouldn't even know what abortion or rape is, because she may have DIED if she didn't? I don't understand that backwards thinking!!!! It's appalling!!

More on this case ...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Young Bride

When I first read the headline, "9 year old bride walks down aisle in Dallas, Texas" my first thought was what kind of horrible parents let/force their 9 year old to get married??? But then I watched the accompanying video and proceeded to bawl my friggin eyes out. It's the story of a little girl battling luekemia who's battle will end in the next couple of weeks and her only wish was to get married so she but make sure you have kleenex!!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Last Thursday we had an ultrasound done.
Though baby was quite modest and kept legs with knees together most of the time, the ultrasound tech said that when she did get a peek that she thought it's a girl!

We have a 3D ultrasound booked for April 25th...I can't wait!!!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Well, 20 weeks today! Half way there and it feels like yesterday that I was peeing on sticks just to see those two pink lines!!!

It's amazing, every day I grow more connected to this little life that's growing inside me. I have less worry about not having a big enough heart to love all of these children. I still worry about the birth and what will happen...I'm scared something may happen to me or my uterus but I try not to dwell too much...there's nothing I can do until that time comes and it's still 20 weeks away!

I have still not heard from the court house as to whether they'll approve my request for an urgent motion so that I won't be held in contempt of court when I don't do "my share" of the driving each weekend. By Friday it won't matter anymore and the worst part is I know that even if they do call by then it won't be until next week that we get in there at which point AGAIN it won't matter. Though the boy doesn't want to go this weekend anyway and will stay home so I won't TECHNICALLY be "deliberatley disobeying the court order"...the D-bag told the boy that it's up to him when he comes now and he doesn't want to go because he doesn't want to help them move. Last weekend when he picked him up he asked if he could have him Thursday night until the following Monday and keep him out of school on the Friday and the boy spoke up and said, "Why so I can help you move?" and the D-bag said yes. I don't think that's very fair really....he's barely there and then he has to help them pack and clean and move everything??? Not a very fun kind of "spending time with my dad" kind of weekend.

And then there's the fact that he came home from last weekend and told me that the D-bag's girlfriend told him that he's not allowed to bring his Nintendo DS anymore...I swear they're trying to make him NOT want to go anymore.

He also said that she told him that if he gets all C's again on his next report card he'll be grounded there. It really burns my ass when they say shit like that...that is NOT positive reinforcement. When the boy came home with a report card that looked like that I asked him what he thought. He said he wasn't happy with it. I told him that if he wasn't happy with it then he needed to try his best to get better grades. I did NOT punish him...I don't think that's the way to handle stuff like that and it is discouraging to a child, especially in the middle of the term, reports are due to go home in a month. Now he's going to worry about what his report is going to look like until he gets's not right. If the boy would just buckle down and do the WORK that's given to him he'd get amazing grades...this is not a question of whether or not he CAN do's that he's NOT doing it and I've been working with him to make sure he does it but there is only so much I can do from home.

The D-bag is just pushing him further and further away and I'm not sure if he realizes that or not. It's sad but the boy will come to his own conclusions about his father and one day will form his own opinions as well...I don't think it will be pretty.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Peace and ear-numbing quiet!

The neighbours FINALLY finished moving out on Wednesday night/Thursday morning at like 1:30am (of course we had to get up at 6:30 so I was NOT impressed but didn't say anything because they were GETTING OUT and that was the most important thing).

It is SOOOO wonderful dogs, no kids running back and forth at 11:00 pm, no loud music at any given time and most of all no bitchy teenagers who think the world owe them something giving me the evil eye every time we cross paths!!

I can hear the voices in my head again! (hehe, line from FRIENDS)

Now onto cleaning and organizing and packing my own house. We're moving back to Welland on May 1st. It's a lovely 3 bedroom unit in a four-plex. Full basement with a place that can be a room, laundry hook ups and enough space for a cube freezer and pantry shelves. The main floor is Livingroom, Diningroom and kitchen which is HUGE compared to the little one I have now. There is also a half bath right at the front's TINY but it's nice we won't have to go upstairs everytime we have to use the washroom. Then upstairs is the three bedrooms, full bath and linen closet. Two of the rooms are a really decent size and then the other room, which will be the baby's room (baby's room!!! I've never had a baby's room!!!) is quite a bit smaller but big enough for anything a baby would need a room for.

I'm so excited!! I feel like things are finally moving toward our future. I feel stuck here in Niagara Falls...I don't like it here, the area is not really safe for the kids and all our family and friends except like 2 (mind you they are two of our best friends :( ) are in Welland. This place also has central air which will be nice while I'm nursing a newborn in the middle of July!! We won't stick together like grilled cheese lol!!

Now that we're moving and I have to pack I'm going to do my schooling online (if they ever get around to sending me the email with my passwords) and the first course I'm taking is Grade 11 University Prep English. I have all of my compulsory credits already so I was able to just take whatever I wanted. I'm good with English so I figured, why not. Eventually if I do go to college or whatever I'm probably just going to take something to do with Office Admin anyway because that's what I do best.

Now on to the not so good stuff. My eldest's dad is moving an hour and a half away from me. Which you would think, being that we don't get along, would be a good thing. But it's not, only for one reason...

Our current court order states that I am to "pick up the child at the respondants residence at the end of all access periods".

Yeah...and he's holding me to it. The jerk expecting me to drive at least 3 hours round trip every Sunday except one a month to pick him up at his dads. This are financially tight as it is right now and we just can't afford to add a tank of gas every weekend to the budget.

I have filed court papers which I have to serve tonight and our court date is not until May 6th . Yeah. THREE MONTHS AWAY!!!! They're moving NEXT WEEK!!! I have spoken to a lawyer and he said if I DON'T drive I can be held in contempt of court. Ugh.

So I also filed for an urgent motion to change this arrangement because I don't want to be held in contempt of court and so hopefully the judge will approve my request and we can get in there within two weeks.

I really don't think it should be my responsibility to drive whether I have the money or not being that he's the one who is deciding to move. He tried to counter with the fact that I'm moving back to Welland so "what would be the difference?"....ummmm....the fact that Welland is TWENTY MINUTES AWAY....not an hour and a half!!! And not only that when the court order was written...I LIVED IN WELLAND!!! He can be a real dip sometimes...

Anyway, I'll keep you updated on that...I'll stop rambling about it now because I could go on and on!!!!

Have a great weekend!!!

Thursday, January 29, 2009

2 more sleeps!!!


In other news, lol...I have definitely been a bit more motivated. I cleaned the house last week (not that you can tell now since I had children home for two days) and got registered for school today.

I'm 18 weeks preggo now, it went fast. I have a feeling I won't be thinking that once I hit somewhere around 32 weeks but right now, it's going very quickly.

Not a whole lot to report but wanted to share the news about the neighbours!! I can't wait!!!!!

Wednesday, January 21, 2009


I know, I've been slacking. But honestly, I feel totally unmotivated lately, I'm just recently (like in the last two days) feeling like doing anything but sitting on my big fat pregnant ass and doing nothing. So, maybe I'm starting to pull out of this funk or whatever it is but I'm hoping to be blogging a little more frequently than I have been in the last two months.

I got some new pics of Niko today:

Isn't he huge for 6 months????
Hmmmm, let's see, what else? Oh, the horrible neighbours are moving out!!! Not this weekend but next! WOOOOOOT!!!! So damned excited! Landlord is leaving it empty for a month so it will be sooooo quiet for the month of February! So happy!
I just made an appointment to go and get registered for school as of February 2nd. I will be completing my high school. I've been VERY bored in the last few weeks since the holidays are over and so I thought, well, I have the time, might as well go do it and get it done before the baby is born. So, I should be a high school graduate by like June. Yay!
Ummmmm, partylite is slow, but that's not surprising considering the time of year and the economy. I'm hoping it will pick up eventually.
We're looking into possibly purchasing a house. Jer's family knows someone who has access to foreclosures so we may be able to get a really sweet deal on a decent house....crossing my fingers but not getting my hopes up. I just have this feeling that we're not bringing in enough money for a mortgage just yet. If not then we will continue to rent and we'll be moving back to Welland in August.
That's about it for now...I am really hoping I'm out of my slump....spring is just two months away!!!!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I can relate to this article...

So, it's 9:28 am EST and I've been awake since 4:30am. I woke up not feeling very well and instead of disturbing Jer who had to work at 7:00 am I thought, I'll go sleep on the couch. Well, SLEEP did not happen. No, no, the neighbours new puppy decided it was time to play!!! 4:30 am. Running back and forth playing with a bone or some other hard object until 8! LOVELY!!!

I've been having problems with these people for EVER but I'm SO stressed out now I can relate to this article (though I would never EVER do something like this and I think this guy is a bit ridiculous considering it was only parking a car on the street).

Lack of sleep will make ANYONE a little strung out but when a pregnant woman doesn't get her sleep..........*breathes in and out slowly lest she goes medevil on the neighbours*

And HOW is this still taking place in this day and age????

Sunday, January 4, 2009

A New Year

Happy Holidays everyone, I hope you all had a wonderful celebration.

We've been very busy...non-stop almost since the tuesday before Christmas. I've wanted to post but haven't had the time or inspiration. I don't know if it's just this time of year, the time of hibernation or what but I don't feel like anything I have to say is important enough to post it here.

Sure, I could bitch about my lovely neighbours who are the loudest and rudest people on earth, or their puppy who cried for 8 hours the other day because it was locked in a kennel (poor puppy :(). I could bitch about my so called "siblings" who didn't speak to me at our uncles funeral.

But really, I don't feel like it. I don't feel like telling the whole story. I don't feel like I'm asking for advice because really there is no solution to either of those problems at the moment. It's just bitching.

I'm in the 2nd trimester now and feeling better but looking worse. My skin looks terrible and my hair is completely unmanagable.

I think I may have my bitchy pants on for a while so I don't know when I'll post again. I feel like I bring the mood down when I write a bitch post. And that's all I got right now....a bitch post.

So, I hope you all had a good New Years and hope your 2009 had a better start than mine did. I hope this is not a foreshadowing of the year to come....