Monday, March 22, 2010

Spring has sprung!

There are buds on the trees and everything is wet, muddy and new smelling.  I saw some yellow weed type flowers on someone's lawn when I was driving the other day too.  It's all very refreshing!!!

I'm very happy that the winter is finally over.  It was a short one, for sure, but it was harsh on me emotionally and I'm feeling better now that there are warmer days and sunshine....well, not today, it's cold and rainy but that's to be expected at this time of year. :)

There isn't a whole lot to report at the moment...I'm getting a tattoo on Thursday to cover one I have on my neck that doesn't suit me anymore.  I'm getting a fairy done (I collect them)...

Something like this.

Then in the near future I'm also getting my horribly done tattoo on my arm fixed/covered by the same girl.  I'm very excited to have a beautiful tattoo to show off at my wedding!!!!

Next month is also the open house for our reception venue where we get to taste and see everything that is included in our package so we can make an informed decision about what we serve and how we decorate...we refer to this day as "Tasty Day" lol...Can't wait!!!!

Other than that, wedding planning is slow right now because we have as much as possible done right now.  I'm still plugging away at the favours and still painting for our wedding party gifts and stag and doe prizes.  Tuxes are picked out and we basically just have to wait for the money to be there to do anything else!

I hope you're all enjoying our spring weather!  :)

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Feeling a little better...

The sun is SHINING!!!  A LOT!  I love it and how much better it makes me feel!!!

The job is going well, it's still a lot of work for little money but I'm getting the hang of things and I DON'T hate it yet lol...which is a good sign!!!!

The hours work well with everyone's schedule (even though I have to work every weekend) and I'm very glad about that.

Things, while tight right now, are starting to look up.  Jer was at his union hall the other day and if he weren't taking his basic plumbing course right now he'd be back to work.  He'll likely be back to work as soon as his done on April 23rd and I'm SO HAPPY about that.  We're barely keeping afloat right now...our taxes will be done Friday and we'll be using that money to pay off a bunch of the credit card debt (only to wrack it up again with wedding expenses lol) and to get a new tire for the van (why does shit break only when you have no money?? lol).

Also, my future sister in law made one of my wedding dreams come true...she booked us a harpist for our ceremony and two hours at our reception...I'm SOOO excited!!!  All my life I've wanted to walk down the aisle to a harp playing Canon in D and I was going to just use a recording of I'll have it played live!!

I'm so glad that spring is around the corner!  My best friend is moving in the apartment kitty corner from us on April 1st as well which I'm so so excited about!!

Anyway, that's all for now...

Soak up the sunshiny goodness!!!!

Monday, March 1, 2010


A few things to write on this, the first day of March....I'm so happy that spring is on it's way...I'm hoping it will pull me out of my funk.  Because I'm certainly stuck knee deep in it.  And it sucks.

First, please, send all your prayers and peace vibes to this little girl .  The poor little girl is in her last days at not even two years old.  I'm praying her sleep comes soon so she can be at peace again.  I send all my thoughts and prayers to her family...I can't even begin to imagine what they are going.  And I'm so so thankful for the health that my family does have...things like this remind me how absolutely lucky we really are!  It's going ok.  I don't mind it too much, it's not a bad job but it is a lot of work for little pay (yet so is just about everything these days).  I worked a lot last week but now I'm off until Friday.  And I work every other Friday and every Saturday and Sunday for the foreseeable future...which blows.  But, Jer's still laid off and we have a wedding to pay for so, I will plug away until I can be at home with my babies again.

Third, I had another abnormal pap.  I'm freaking out just a little bit...and it sucks because my anxiety and depression have been at full force recently.  I had one before I had my transfer for the giant baby as well, and then a colposcopy which came back normal and a normal pap followed that.  Now, another abnormal.  It could be nothing but now I'm having some mid-cycle spotting as well so my mind is going AHHH!!  THE C WORD!!! (cancer).  I am probably over reacting (surprise!) but I'm pretty anxious about it.  I'm not supposed to have a repeat pap until August but I called the Dr. this morning to see about getting in sooner because of the spotting.  He's not in today but will call me tomorrow (or so the nurse says).  I'm trying not to stress but like I put it to Jer, "if something was 'abnormal' with your testicles and then you had bleeding when you weren't supposed to have bleeding, wouldn't you worry??"...he said good point.  Everything could very well be a coincidence because I've been nursing Marryn less due to working and I am stressed and anxious about stuff which can make your reproductive organs do strange things...but still...all that coupled with the abnormal pap makes me worry and I won't stop until I know something more than "it's abnormal"...I need to know how, why, when, where, what.  Anyway.  Next.

A lot of my stress and anxiety and general funk is do to some really inconsiderate, rude and overall nasty people that I MUST deal with due to...well, I have a child with one of them.  There has been a lot of nastiness in the last couple of months.  And honestly, I really TRY to get along...there have only been a few times when I didn't try to get along because I'd had enough.  In general I'm usually pretty co-operative more often than not.  Anytime things are asked of me, unless there is a good reason for it, I always say no problem.  Anytime there is a question for me, even if it's unpleasant, I try to answer without attitude or snarkiness because I just don't have the energy to get into it with someone who knows all the right buttons to push to make me yell at him.  Thankfully most of the communications as of late are through email...which allows me to take a step back and reply as civilly as possible...or not respond at all if I can't do it without being civil in the least.  The woman he's dating I have the most issues with...because he's away working right now, I've been mostly dealing with her.  And I can't even ask a question without her freaking out and telling me I'm "changing my tune" or "demanding" things.  I finally had enough after the last slew of emails and told her I would no longer communicate with her because it's never EVER pleasant or civil.  There is always a PROBLEM to deal with and it's not worth it to me.  I'm not obligated to speak to her and everytime I try to communicate, I end up pissed off.  I don't need that.  So I said, END.  Done.  Anyway...things aren't figured out anymore now than when this shit started so it will be an ongoing topic here I'm sure.  But it's nice that I have here to come and vent about it (non-describingly so as not to 'out' anyone, those who know, know).  I REALLY need to vent about it because otherwise it stews and makes me more angry as time goes on.  There are just some things that I can't believe were said and it makes me incredibily angry and SOOO so sad for my child.  /sigh/

Anywho, aside from feeling like I want to cry 12 out of 24 hours today...I'm trying to be positive and thankful for everything I have...that's something right?

Enough droning.

P.S.  Check out Martin Sexton...  GREAT music!!!