Monday, March 31, 2008

Baby Mama...

There is a new movie about surrogacy coming out in April...I don't know how I feel about it yet, I'm hoping it's not something that is going to continue to paint surrogacy in a negative light....but, when it comes out I will definitely see it and then make my decision then....until then, here is the trailer if anyone is interested....

Friday, March 28, 2008

"I just don't get it..." Sunday Scriblings...

"I just don't get it..."

Wow, this is such a huge statement for me...there are a lot of things that I just don't get...but my main one is about my first custody battle with my oldest.

Sometimes it's hard for me to write about this because there is SO much that I have to say about it. I wasn't always the ideal mother to him...he was born a month before my 18th birthday and even with all the support I had, I had just as much negative comments and such kicking me while I was down about being a young mother who wasn't old enough to take care of him and be the proper parent to him. It was the hardest when people just took over his finally got to the point where I didn't CARE who was taking care of him because according to everyone else, they could do it better than I could anyway.

After FINALLY realizing that I WAS the best parent for him...after soooo many things I'd over-looked because "I was too young to know what to do with him anyway"...I finally woke up and said THIS IS NOT RIGHT. MY SON SHOULD NOT BE RAISED BY THESE PEOPLE.

It was too late....his father and step mother had decided they weren't going to let me see him anymore. They never really did tell me why...just gave me bullshit excuses about my "anger"...which I did have....towards THEM.

I finally stepped up and decided to go and file papers for custody.

If anyone has EVER gone through a custody battle in Ontario, you know our justice system is NOT what it should be.

I called Family and Children's Services with concerns about the pot that my son's father was growing in his basement. I also called the police.

I was right...there was pot growing....28 plants to be exact.

And here is where "I just don't get it..."

They removed the plants....and didn't charge him with fact he wasn't disciplined at all. He got off scott free even though he was growing marijuana....which one assumes was for the purpose of trafficking because I don't think one grows 28 plants for personal use...and even if it was only for personal use, is it not illegal to grow and possess in this country???

FACS did nothing as well. The kids were allowed to remain in the home (which was far from happy but that's another story for another time).

If it were ME that had done what he had done, with my luck (which is ALWAYS bad luck lol) I would have been arrested and had my kids taken away immediately. I just don't get it.

After all of the things we'd gone through with FACS and the police and everything in between....I lost that first custody battle. I was given every other weekend access.

I just don't get it....................................

Thankfully, we've gone through a second custody battle...I won this one and now have my son living with me full time and going to his fathers on weekends... :)

Friday, March 21, 2008

He signed!!

Just a quick update...he was there when I went to pick him up and he signed the adoption consent!!

So now we wait the mandatory 21 days that he has to withdraw his consent (which he won't, I doubt I'll even see or hear from him for a LEAST a few years now) and then we can file all the paperwork with the court and get our court date. I don't think it will take more than one court date and my little man will legally be my OH's son!! Yay!!!

Here's a pic of me at 23 weeks 6 days pregnant with baby N...

Thursday, March 20, 2008

It's Spring now!!

Happy First Day Of Spring!!!

Not a whole lot to report at the moment....24 weeks today, which according to what I've read is "viability" if I was to go into preterm labour (which I have NO intentions of doing!!), good milestone!!

Other than that I'm trying to deal with step parent adoption issues.

Long story short, my youngest is other half is the only dad he's ever known. Bio dad is just not around, hasn't paid support and doesn't bother us which was good...up until I tried to register my little man in the French which point they told me that unless my OH is LEGALLY his father, the fact that he speaks fluent french makes no difference. Either me or bio dad HAVE to speak fluent french or he's NOT ENTITLED to a french education....which alone PISSED ME RIGHT OFF. Not entitled????? Is this not a french english speaking country??? Ugh. Anyway...we decided that we would work at getting the adoption papers in order...I had asked bio dad about a year ago if he would sign over his rights and of course he said sure, he doesn't care as long as he doesn't have to do anything.

Well. He has to do something. He has to front of a lawyer....who will tell him "what his rights are and what he's giving up". Another thing that just pisses me off about the whole situation....understandable for some teenager who doesn't really know what they're getting into...but this guy DOES NOT HAVE ANY RIGHTS in my opinion. My youngest was planned and when I was 6 weeks pregnant, bio dad just stopped coming home! He wasn't there while I was pregnant and he wasn't there when he was born. He came to the hospital once after I had him and held him for 5 minutes. He's seen him a handful of times in his 3.5 the last 2 of those years he's seen him for a total of 10 minutes. He has not paid the support that was ordered by the does that give him ANYTHING? In my opinion, he's abandoned his child.

So here is where I stand.

I've contacted him to get him to sign this consent...we went to two free legal clinics and one lawyer was unable to sign with him because he'd already signed papers with my OH regarding the same issue and it would be a conflict of interest...the other one flat out REFUSED to sign because "it was just too touchy an issue and he doesn't know anything about the case" (not to mention this is the same lawyer that fought for my oldests father to continue having full custody after the man had 28 pot plants removed from his house....oh did I mention he WON???? GRRR.) I was left with no choice but to make an appointment with a NOT free lawyer...$175 + GST to get him to sign this piece of paper with bio dad.

After the last free appointment I had yelled at bio dad because when the lawyer started beeking to him about his rights he just sat there and didn't say made me look like I was FORCING the issue when I am TOTALLY not. So I yelled and told him that he can't have it both ways, either be there, every single weekend to be with my son and pay the support and be a father OR SIGN THE FUCKING PAPER so that someone else who WANTS to be his father legally and already IS his father every other way CAN BE. He didn't say anything (surprise, surprise) and said to call him when I had the appointment with the lawyer.

So I did. And I called, and called and called.....we have an appointment at 11am. I left a note in his mailbox after trying to call three times just so that he would be aware of the appointment time and date. I left my cell phone number yet again so that he could call to let me know that he got the note.

He. Has. Not. Called.

I'm still going to try to pick him up today...but I have a feeling he is going to stiff me, not be there and not be where I can get a hold of him to get this ONE piece of paper signed so that my son can LEGALLY have the father he deserves.


If he isn't there today that brings us to plan B. File the paperwork we DO have, get a court date, serve him with said papers, wait for him not to show up, get a new court date (for his second chance), wait for him to not show up again and then have the judge take his rights away from him involuntarily....which is a perfectly good plan except that it won't be done by September....when my little man starts school.

Anyone a lawyer???????

How's everyone else??