Thursday, March 20, 2008

It's Spring now!!

Happy First Day Of Spring!!!

Not a whole lot to report at the moment....24 weeks today, which according to what I've read is "viability" if I was to go into preterm labour (which I have NO intentions of doing!!)....so, good milestone!!

Other than that I'm trying to deal with step parent adoption issues.

Long story short, my youngest is 3...my other half is the only dad he's ever known. Bio dad is just not around, hasn't paid support and doesn't bother us which was good...up until I tried to register my little man in the French school...at which point they told me that unless my OH is LEGALLY his father, the fact that he speaks fluent french makes no difference. Either me or bio dad HAVE to speak fluent french or he's NOT ENTITLED to a french education....which alone PISSED ME RIGHT OFF. Not entitled????? Is this not a french english speaking country??? Ugh. Anyway...we decided that we would work at getting the adoption papers in order...I had asked bio dad about a year ago if he would sign over his rights and of course he said sure, he doesn't care as long as he doesn't have to do anything.

Well. He has to do something. He has to consent...in front of a lawyer....who will tell him "what his rights are and what he's giving up". Another thing that just pisses me off about the whole situation....understandable for some teenager who doesn't really know what they're getting into...but this guy DOES NOT HAVE ANY RIGHTS in my opinion. My youngest was planned and when I was 6 weeks pregnant, bio dad just stopped coming home! He wasn't there while I was pregnant and he wasn't there when he was born. He came to the hospital once after I had him and held him for 5 minutes. He's seen him a handful of times in his 3.5 years...in the last 2 of those years he's seen him for a total of 10 minutes. He has not paid the support that was ordered by the courts....how does that give him ANYTHING? In my opinion, he's abandoned his child.

So here is where I stand.

I've contacted him to get him to sign this consent...we went to two free legal clinics and one lawyer was unable to sign with him because he'd already signed papers with my OH regarding the same issue and it would be a conflict of interest...the other one flat out REFUSED to sign because "it was just too touchy an issue and he doesn't know anything about the case" (not to mention this is the same lawyer that fought for my oldests father to continue having full custody after the man had 28 pot plants removed from his house....oh did I mention he WON???? GRRR.)....so I was left with no choice but to make an appointment with a NOT free lawyer...$175 + GST to get him to sign this piece of paper with bio dad.

After the last free appointment I had yelled at bio dad because when the lawyer started beeking to him about his rights he just sat there and didn't say anything...it made me look like I was FORCING the issue when I am TOTALLY not. So I yelled and told him that he can't have it both ways, either be there, every single weekend to be with my son and pay the support and be a father OR SIGN THE FUCKING PAPER so that someone else who WANTS to be his father legally and already IS his father every other way CAN BE. He didn't say anything (surprise, surprise) and said to call him when I had the appointment with the lawyer.

So I did. And I called, and called and called.....we have an appointment at 11am. I left a note in his mailbox after trying to call three times just so that he would be aware of the appointment time and date. I left my cell phone number yet again so that he could call to let me know that he got the note.

He. Has. Not. Called.

I'm still going to try to pick him up today...but I have a feeling he is going to stiff me, not be there and not be where I can get a hold of him to get this ONE piece of paper signed so that my son can LEGALLY have the father he deserves.

Asshole.

If he isn't there today that brings us to plan B. File the paperwork we DO have, get a court date, serve him with said papers, wait for him not to show up, get a new court date (for his second chance), wait for him to not show up again and then have the judge take his rights away from him involuntarily....which is a perfectly good plan except that it won't be done by September....when my little man starts school.

Anyone a lawyer???????

How's everyone else??

3 comments:

Linda said...

What a nightmare! Your son comes first and he can just fuck off!

Linda said...

"He" meaning the bio dad!

Bohemian Mom said...

I think bio-dad was stillborn and nobody told him.