Friday, March 28, 2008

"I just don't get it..." Sunday Scriblings...

"I just don't get it..."

Wow, this is such a huge statement for me...there are a lot of things that I just don't get...but my main one is about my first custody battle with my oldest.

Sometimes it's hard for me to write about this because there is SO much that I have to say about it. I wasn't always the ideal mother to him...he was born a month before my 18th birthday and even with all the support I had, I had just as much negative comments and such kicking me while I was down about being a young mother who wasn't old enough to take care of him and be the proper parent to him. It was the hardest when people just took over his finally got to the point where I didn't CARE who was taking care of him because according to everyone else, they could do it better than I could anyway.

After FINALLY realizing that I WAS the best parent for him...after soooo many things I'd over-looked because "I was too young to know what to do with him anyway"...I finally woke up and said THIS IS NOT RIGHT. MY SON SHOULD NOT BE RAISED BY THESE PEOPLE.

It was too late....his father and step mother had decided they weren't going to let me see him anymore. They never really did tell me why...just gave me bullshit excuses about my "anger"...which I did have....towards THEM.

I finally stepped up and decided to go and file papers for custody.

If anyone has EVER gone through a custody battle in Ontario, you know our justice system is NOT what it should be.

I called Family and Children's Services with concerns about the pot that my son's father was growing in his basement. I also called the police.

I was right...there was pot growing....28 plants to be exact.

And here is where "I just don't get it..."

They removed the plants....and didn't charge him with fact he wasn't disciplined at all. He got off scott free even though he was growing marijuana....which one assumes was for the purpose of trafficking because I don't think one grows 28 plants for personal use...and even if it was only for personal use, is it not illegal to grow and possess in this country???

FACS did nothing as well. The kids were allowed to remain in the home (which was far from happy but that's another story for another time).

If it were ME that had done what he had done, with my luck (which is ALWAYS bad luck lol) I would have been arrested and had my kids taken away immediately. I just don't get it.

After all of the things we'd gone through with FACS and the police and everything in between....I lost that first custody battle. I was given every other weekend access.

I just don't get it....................................

Thankfully, we've gone through a second custody battle...I won this one and now have my son living with me full time and going to his fathers on weekends... :)


Shyam said...

I'm so glad for you, that you've finally got your son living with you. Good for you, good that you persisted because you ARE the right person to bring your son up the right way.

Greyscale Territory said...

That is a mind-numbing siutation. We read of such happenings in the media, but when it hits hard personally, that becomes quite another cold reality.

May you be blessed as you travel.


Anonymous said...

There is something seriously wrong and corrupt in the family court system. After all is said and done, it's shows your level of strength and fortitude for not giving up.
Finally, things are as they should be.
And as for "good intentioned" people telling a young mother that "she isn't doing it right", is far more damaging than they'll
ever know.
Thank the gods that you're as strong and stubborn as you are. lol
You made it!!!