This is a kitchen sink post

I'm feeling sort of down these last few days.  I've recently had to come to terms with the fact that I need to work at the moment.  I really enjoy my job as a stay at home mom and I'm feeling really down about going to work and quitting breastfeeding early (unless I find a job that will work around Marryn's schedule which I'm not expecting).  I can still pump and still nurse her when I am home but it won't be the same.  I know, as long as she's getting what she needs it doesn't matter right?  Well, it does to me.  My favourite time is when I'm nursing her...it's such an amazing feeling to know that she needs me for such an important job!  But, my family also needs me to go to work while Jer is off and while it's not what I want to do, it's what I need to do and so I will do it.

Some people have said to me that it must be nice to have the "luxury" of staying home and doing nothing all day.  I can assure them that I DO NOT do nothing.  I will miss my duties here at home and it will probably drive me a little crazy that I'm not doing things "my way" lol...some people don't get that though.

I have an interview tomorrow night at a comedy club as a box office sales agent.  It's full time days with some nights.  Should be interesting and I'll update.

I miss the routine of Jer at work too.  It was up to me to get up and get the kids ready and off to school and from there I would come home and tidy and sometimes start dinner if it was something that needed to be slow cooked like roast or spaghetti sauce.  Now, I've been staying up later and sleeping in longer because Jer will get up with the kids part of the time.  I'll look forward to going back to that routine even though I'll miss having Jer around all the time.  It's fun that we get to hang out everyday!  Lots of quality time :)

It's also been good with wedding planning.  I've been able to ask his advice and preference on stuff while I'm looking at it instead of having to send a message or email about it.  We've recently decided on a limo and flowers which we weren't sure we were going to do before.  I'm really looking forward to how the next 9 months are going to play out!  It will be nice to see all our hard work come together in the most fun way!  Hopefully ours is a reception that people will always remember!!!  How could you not in costume?!

I have more to write but I think it should have a post dedicated to it.  So I will end here and write more later/tomorrow.  I also feel the urge to write another chapter so that may be coming soon as well.

Later!