Baby Mama...

There is a new movie about surrogacy coming out in April...I don't know how I feel about it yet, I'm hoping it's not something that is going to continue to paint surrogacy in a negative light....but, when it comes out I will definitely see it and then make my decision then....until then, here is the trailer if anyone is interested....

http://movies.aol.com//movie/baby-mama/27651/video/trailer-no-1/2052979

"I just don't get it..." Sunday Scriblings...

"I just don't get it..."

Wow, this is such a huge statement for me...there are a lot of things that I just don't get...but my main one is about my first custody battle with my oldest.

Sometimes it's hard for me to write about this because there is SO much that I have to say about it. I wasn't always the ideal mother to him...he was born a month before my 18th birthday and even with all the support I had, I had just as much negative comments and such kicking me while I was down about being a young mother who wasn't old enough to take care of him and be the proper parent to him. It was the hardest when people just took over his care....it finally got to the point where I didn't CARE who was taking care of him because according to everyone else, they could do it better than I could anyway.

After FINALLY realizing that I WAS the best parent for him...after soooo many things I'd over-looked because "I was too young to know what to do with him anyway"...I finally woke up and said THIS IS NOT RIGHT. MY SON SHOULD NOT BE RAISED BY THESE PEOPLE.

It was too late....his father and step mother had decided they weren't going to let me see him anymore. They never really did tell me why...just gave me bullshit excuses about my "anger"...which I did have....towards THEM.

I finally stepped up and decided to go and file papers for custody.

If anyone has EVER gone through a custody battle in Ontario, you know our justice system is NOT what it should be.

I called Family and Children's Services with concerns about the pot that my son's father was growing in his basement. I also called the police.

I was right...there was pot growing....28 plants to be exact.

And here is where "I just don't get it..."

They removed the plants....and didn't charge him with anything...in fact he wasn't disciplined at all. He got off scott free even though he was growing marijuana....which one assumes was for the purpose of trafficking because I don't think one grows 28 plants for personal use...and even if it was only for personal use, is it not illegal to grow and possess in this country???

FACS did nothing as well. The kids were allowed to remain in the home (which was far from happy but that's another story for another time).

If it were ME that had done what he had done, with my luck (which is ALWAYS bad luck lol) I would have been arrested and had my kids taken away immediately. I just don't get it.

After all of the things we'd gone through with FACS and the police and everything in between....I lost that first custody battle. I was given every other weekend access.

I just don't get it....................................

Thankfully, we've gone through a second custody battle...I won this one and now have my son living with me full time and going to his fathers on weekends... :)

He signed!!

Just a quick update...he was there when I went to pick him up and he signed the adoption consent!!

So now we wait the mandatory 21 days that he has to withdraw his consent (which he won't, I doubt I'll even see or hear from him for a LEAST a few years now) and then we can file all the paperwork with the court and get our court date. I don't think it will take more than one court date and my little man will legally be my OH's son!! Yay!!!

Here's a pic of me at 23 weeks 6 days pregnant with baby N...

It's Spring now!!

Happy First Day Of Spring!!!

Not a whole lot to report at the moment....24 weeks today, which according to what I've read is "viability" if I was to go into preterm labour (which I have NO intentions of doing!!)....so, good milestone!!

Other than that I'm trying to deal with step parent adoption issues.

Long story short, my youngest is 3...my other half is the only dad he's ever known. Bio dad is just not around, hasn't paid support and doesn't bother us which was good...up until I tried to register my little man in the French school...at which point they told me that unless my OH is LEGALLY his father, the fact that he speaks fluent french makes no difference. Either me or bio dad HAVE to speak fluent french or he's NOT ENTITLED to a french education....which alone PISSED ME RIGHT OFF. Not entitled????? Is this not a french english speaking country??? Ugh. Anyway...we decided that we would work at getting the adoption papers in order...I had asked bio dad about a year ago if he would sign over his rights and of course he said sure, he doesn't care as long as he doesn't have to do anything.

Well. He has to do something. He has to consent...in front of a lawyer....who will tell him "what his rights are and what he's giving up". Another thing that just pisses me off about the whole situation....understandable for some teenager who doesn't really know what they're getting into...but this guy DOES NOT HAVE ANY RIGHTS in my opinion. My youngest was planned and when I was 6 weeks pregnant, bio dad just stopped coming home! He wasn't there while I was pregnant and he wasn't there when he was born. He came to the hospital once after I had him and held him for 5 minutes. He's seen him a handful of times in his 3.5 years...in the last 2 of those years he's seen him for a total of 10 minutes. He has not paid the support that was ordered by the courts....how does that give him ANYTHING? In my opinion, he's abandoned his child.

So here is where I stand.

I've contacted him to get him to sign this consent...we went to two free legal clinics and one lawyer was unable to sign with him because he'd already signed papers with my OH regarding the same issue and it would be a conflict of interest...the other one flat out REFUSED to sign because "it was just too touchy an issue and he doesn't know anything about the case" (not to mention this is the same lawyer that fought for my oldests father to continue having full custody after the man had 28 pot plants removed from his house....oh did I mention he WON???? GRRR.)....so I was left with no choice but to make an appointment with a NOT free lawyer...$175 + GST to get him to sign this piece of paper with bio dad.

After the last free appointment I had yelled at bio dad because when the lawyer started beeking to him about his rights he just sat there and didn't say anything...it made me look like I was FORCING the issue when I am TOTALLY not. So I yelled and told him that he can't have it both ways, either be there, every single weekend to be with my son and pay the support and be a father OR SIGN THE FUCKING PAPER so that someone else who WANTS to be his father legally and already IS his father every other way CAN BE. He didn't say anything (surprise, surprise) and said to call him when I had the appointment with the lawyer.

So I did. And I called, and called and called.....we have an appointment at 11am. I left a note in his mailbox after trying to call three times just so that he would be aware of the appointment time and date. I left my cell phone number yet again so that he could call to let me know that he got the note.

He. Has. Not. Called.

I'm still going to try to pick him up today...but I have a feeling he is going to stiff me, not be there and not be where I can get a hold of him to get this ONE piece of paper signed so that my son can LEGALLY have the father he deserves.

Asshole.

If he isn't there today that brings us to plan B. File the paperwork we DO have, get a court date, serve him with said papers, wait for him not to show up, get a new court date (for his second chance), wait for him to not show up again and then have the judge take his rights away from him involuntarily....which is a perfectly good plan except that it won't be done by September....when my little man starts school.

Anyone a lawyer???????

How's everyone else??

Is it SPRING yet???? ugh.

Could it get any whiter?

I've been tagged!

The rules are to link the person who sent this and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours.
~Post the rules on your blog
~Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself
~Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and link their blog
~Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

1. I'm double jointed and can bend the first finger of my left hand all the way back to touch the back of my hand (and it usually grosses people out! lol)

2. I am emetophobic and it affects the decisions I make in my everyday life and gives me panic and anxiety issues.

3. I don't eat things that swim....see #2 lol...

4. I have Olfactory Pica during pregnancy (The practice of pica during pregnancy is described in contemporary literature as the ingestion of nonfood substances and food staples in response to craving. A previously unnamed practice, olfactory craving of pregnancy, is the smelling by pregnant women of selected substances in response to craving, which may occur alone or with pica.) and crave the smell of cleaning products, mainly Comet these last two pregnancies but with my first it was PineSol...I clean the bathroom everyday lol....

5. I cannot live without Aveeno Hand Lotion, Green Chapstick and Gingerale (preferably Canada Dry lol)...life does not work without them!

6. Jer (my S.O.) says I can pick up pretty much any instrument and play it...I CAN attest to the fact that I taught myself to play guitar and bass...but I've not tried many other instruments...lol

7. I had my first child a month before I turned 18...and he wasn't an "oops"...most people look at me like I have three heads when I tell them that...but I've wanted children and to be pregnant since I was like 11 years old!

I only have a couple of people I know as bloggers so I tag you all that come here and read this and haven't done it already!

Thanks Ruth, you gave me something to write about, and it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be!!!!

21 weeks tomorrow...

Here's my big belly at just shy of 21 weeks....

I can't believe how big I've gotten in just 4 weeks...

Not much else to report really, just thought I'd share!

It's a Boy!

Well, the u/s went very well, the little guy is doing great. We had the IPS screen done and everything came back negative and normal so he's one healthy little peanut!

I'm doing well, I'm almost 20 weeks, half way to due! I have a belly now too (this pic taken at 17 weeks):

Mom and Dad are very excited that they're expecting a son. :)

Not really much else to report...I will update again soon!

We've just regressed about 25 years...

http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_19065.aspx

I'm so sad. I can't even comment about this right now....but I will....soon.

Calling all readers...

Please...I'm begging you....help break me out of this writers block!!!

I'm asking that you post a comment with something you would like to know about me or hear my opinion on or see me write about!

In other news, 13.5 weeks pregnant, not sick anymore and starting to get a belly! As soon as I take a picture I will post it here as well.

The big ultrasound is on Valentine's Day this year and the baby's parents would like to know the sex so we will be finding that out (that is if baby cooperates!) on that day as well.

Sunday Scribblings

Holiday Memories

There are a ton of memories from the holidays that I could share....a lot of heart warming stories of family and full bellies....

But this year, my memory of the holidays will be different.....this year, I will have to remember that not only is it the day of the Birth of Christ.....but it is also the day of death of my sister.

December 25th is changed forever for me now. I will always have great memories and good times on Christmas Day....but they will be a little more bittersweet now...

Jenny,

I miss you so much everyday...and because we hadn't seen each other in so long before you passed, I can almost imagine that you're still just in North Bay, doing your thing, living your life. But then I snap back to reality and remember that I will never, ever answer the phone again and hear you answering back, "Hey, Brat!".

I hope that you have a great Christmas this year....the best you ever had. I will be thinking about you all day...and I will visit you and Dad at the cemetary at some point just to say hi...I know you're not really there but it gives me a place to go in private and talk to "nothing". I know you're both there listening and that brings me more comfort than you know.

Wherever you are.....Merry Christmas big sister....we all love and miss you so very much.

Love, Brat.

I'm ready

I finished all my Christmas shopping in TWO days this year! It sucked, but it's done. Now, on with the holiday, the sooner, the better. I like Christmas but hate the rush...it seems like everything has to be done NOW...there is no time to breathe!

In other news, I'm 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant now...just a short 5 days from the 2nd Trimester already! WOO! It's gone by fairly quickly too...thank God for that!

I totally don't have much else to say....sadly, I'm boring these days. :(

I put it out there before, if you want to know something, leave me a comment....I'd be happy to answer/comment about it if it gives me something to write about!! Hopefully, I'll be more interesting after the holidays otherwise!

Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate....Happy Whatever-You-Celebrate to those of you who don't!

10 Weeks

WOW! I'm 10 weeks pregnant already! I can't beleive how quickly time is going....definitely not like with my own where I felt like it was taking forever!

Everything seems to be going well with baby...I'm doing better and not quite as sick anymore. I'm VERY happy about that...

I don't have a whole lot more to write about...so I'm going to call out to you again, anything you want to know/hear about from me, giver! Give me some ideas!!

Today marks the beginning of the 12 days of Christmas....and I only know this because it is my birthday...I'm 28....and I feel old.

Tuesday Tunes

This week it's word association again. You tell us the first artist/song/album that comes to mind when you see these words

Icy - The Icicle Melts - The Cranberries

Dark - Anything by Marilyn Manson

End - The end of the world as we know it - REM

December - Long December - Counting Crows

Flake - Britney Spears much??

Duet - Cruising - from Duets the Movie

Beat - Beat it - Michael Jackson

Stress - Ani DiFranco, I always listen to her when I'm stressed out, and it always helps.

Harmony - Sarah Harmer...I think because the name is similar

New - Beautiful Day by U2....I don't know why though....

A Meme

I swiped this "meme" from Mich... you do it too!

Do you own a gun? No freaking way!
What do you think of hot dogs? They're ok...I don't love them though
What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water or milk (or gingerale when I'm not pregnant)
Can you do push-ups? Absolutely not....no really, it's bad.
What’s your favourite piece of jewellery? I don't have any jewellery...yet ;)
What is your secret weapon to lure the opposite sex? I don't have one...I'm lucky I 'lured' anyone at all lol
Middle name? Catharine
Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment:
1~ I'm so tired
2~ I DO NOT want to go to work just to do nothing...this sucks
3~ I better not get nauseaous at work
What time did you wake up today? 6:30 but officially didn't get out of bed until 8:45
Current hate? Oh so many......
Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
~water
~ milk
~ tea
Do you own slippers? Yes, pink fuzzy ones :D
What shirt are you wearing? fat clothes, because I'm not quite showing yet but I don't fit into my regular clothing anymore...ugh, hate the in between stage.
Do you burn or tan? tan
Favourite colour(s)? Blue
Would you be a pirate? No probably not, too much guilt
What is your favourite holiday? Halloween
What songs do you sing in the shower? Well, since I got Herbal Essences conditioner that's called "None of your Frizzness" I tend to get TLC's "None of your Business" stuck in my head everytime I take a shower....it's quite annoying!
What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Ghosts....I'm no longer afraid of them...we co-habitate quite nicely now ;) lol
What’s in your pockets right now? I don't have pockets on...(hehe)
Last thing that made you laugh? Jonah being cute....he always makes me laugh
Best bed sheets as a child? Winnie-The-Pooh!!! Loved them!
Worst injury you’ve ever had? Broken Wrist and by far my C-Section was the worst 'injury'...that was horrible.
Are your parents still together? No
Do you wish on shooting stars? Yep
What is your favourite book(s)? way too many to count
What is your favourite candy? Gummy Feet
How is the weather outside right now? Cold, windy and about to....precipitate...I dunno if it will snow or rain though...
What was your first thought this morning when you woke up? Ugh, I feel sick.....:(....then I got better lol

Christmas Randoms

As my friend BohoMom said, consider yourself tagged and play too!!!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot Chocolate for sure...not a big nogger...

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Wrapped, wrapped and wrapped again...complete with ribbon and bows!!!

3. Coloured lights on tree/house or white? White, they just seem to twinkle more...

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope

5. When do you put your decorations up? Not until December 1st, anytime after that is good

6. What is your favourite holiday dish? Turkey with gravy and jellied can-shaped cranberry sauce (without whole cranberries, yuck) hehehe

7. Favourite Holiday memory? My whole family getting together and hanging out for the entire day while my mom cooked turkey and we helped with the fixings

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember how old I was...but I remember thinking, ok, this sucks!

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? I do now, my boyfriends family all get together on Christmas Eve (they have to rent a hall because there are too many of them to fit in one house!) and we do a gift exchange.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? In red and silver...I like it to match....my poor kids hehehe

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? Love watching it. Hate being outside in it. Hate shovelling it. Dread driving in it.

12. Can you ice skate? I can but don't because I broke a bone in my foot when I was younger and it's painful to skate now...which sucks because I love skating.

13. Do you remember your favourite gift? Probably my Black and White TV and my "Real Baby" when I was like 5 or 6...I asked for them and got what I asked for!!

14. What's the most important thing about Christmas? Being with family that we don't normally get to see in our busy lives....it's the one time of year that everyone seems to make the time...

15. What is your favourite Holiday Dessert? Probably Christmas cookies just because it's a tradition

16. What is your favourite holiday tradition? Now? That would be going to my boyfriends family's get together on Christmas Eve....it's so awesome to be with such a huge, loving family every year on the same day...

16.5. What is your least favourite holiday tradition? That will start this year with going to visit my Sister and Father's grave...this year Christmas Day will mean so much more than it did previously...my sister passed on Christmas Day...I think it will be bittersweet :(

17. What tops your tree? A big silver star

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? Definitely giving! I get all awkward feeling like I don't deserve whatever someone is giving me lol....

19. Favourite Christmas Song? O Holy Night

Sunday Scribblings

Did you "mis-spend" your youth? Absolutely!
What kind of kid were you? I was a good kid, but I was headstrong and independent, my parents and I butted heads all the time...it lead to me moving out at 16.
Worriesome to your folks? To say the least....
Mature beyond your years? I would have to say yes and no....I was mature enough that I felt like I was being treated like a baby at home but I was immature in thinking that my OWN baby would make that stop...I had him when I was 17...WAY too young....
Wild? Not so much, I didn't go all out with everything, I was more like cattle, part of the herd just to fit in...
Shy? To and extent yes, I had very low self esteem
How did you spend your time? Mostly smoking pot...all my friends did it, so I did it too...even though I hated the way it made me feel...other than that, I spent my time staying up all night and sleeping all day
Out of curiosity, how many of you knew "what you wanted to be when you grew up" and accomplished it? I didn't know then, I barely know now and I'm not "anything" yet lol...not to say I haven't accomplished anything yet, I just don't have a career...
How many times did you change your mind? About a million...when I was really little, I wanted to be a nurse...and I wanted to be a nurse until I realized that I would have to deal with people who vomit from time to time...I'm an emetophobe, so, me and vommiting, dont' get along very well! Then I wanted to be a veterinarian...then discovered I have allergies to just about any animal with hair/fur...so, not so much anymore. When I had my son, I started watching A Baby Story and discovered Midwifery...and wanted to do that until I discovered that some women throw up while they're in labour....see above. Right now, I'm playing around with the idea of something surrounding weddings....a dress shop or a consultant or renting out centrepieces and making crystal bouquets and favours.....who knows.
Wow....I made that answer really long!
Do you think your kid self would approve of you now? I would definitely approve of myself now, however, two years ago? Not so much. Glad things have changed!

I have a new banner!!

Thanks so much to BohoMom for creating my AWESOME new banner!!!

Thank you!

Thank you to all those who commented on my Sunday Scribblings. It was very nice to read all the wonderful things you all posted!

I have a great friend who posted an entry about my and my surrogacy journey...you can read it here. And for the most part, the responses were much like they were on my own posts about my journey.

However, there are a couple of comments posted about surrogates and "selling babies".

It's SO hard to hear that kind of thing when you know the joy it's bringing to the parents of the babies you're bringing into this world.

There were also comments about adoption and how that's the better option for those who can't have children.

While adoption is a WONDERFUL option for some, it is NOT so wonderful for others. Which is why people seek out egg donors or surrogates. Some people (myself included) aren't totally sure that they could care for a child who is not their own in the same way they would if that child WAS their own.

There are tons of loving, caring people out there who have been waiting YEARS to adopt...and that's wonderful...but this world will never have a shortage of children waiting to be adopted, even if everyone waiting was given TWO children as soon as they asked.

It is not the be all and end all answer for those with fertility issues to adopt.

Anyway, instead of getting on a soap box on my friends blog comments, I figured I should bring it over here!