3500 candidates for 50 jobs

Our little city is not doing well. There have been major job losses over the last 2 years with the closure of several plants, the biggest being John Deere in which my future mother-in-law, father-in-law and step brother all lost their jobs along with umpteen hundred other people. There aren't many jobs in this city...not even part time ones that can make up for what unemployment insurance doesn't cover.

I consider us lucky even though Jer's laid off right now. It'll be three weeks tomorrow. But it could be worse, he could have lost his job all together and have no opportunities at all. Luckily, he's in a union and it's only a matter of time before there is another job for him AND we don't lose our benefits during his out of work time.

Yesterday the local Rona, which is slated to open in three months, held a job fair. There were people lined up outside the hotel they held it at for ours to try and get one of the 50 jobs they're offering. 3500 people to be exact. You know it's tough when 3500 people show up for 50 minimum wage jobs because there are no other options.

I feel incredibly sad about it. It's definitely a reality check.

I've been looking on and off for something part time to make a bit while Jer's off work...it's very discouraging to hear about the job fair yesterday. I'm thinking now that finding something is going to be harder than I thought. I check the job bank almost everyday. Nothing has been posted for our city since last Friday. Everything that is available is out of town and even then it's not much.

I really hope things pick up for everyone soon...this is horrible.

6 Months Old

Miss Marryn is 6 months old today....I can't believe how quickly the first half of her first year has gone! I love this stage though and she's so adorable. Saying dada already and eating some solids...here are a bunch of my fave pics of her :D

2 Weeks left

Well, there are only two weeks left of 2009. This year has been a good and bad year.

I have my oldest son full time now, meaning no more trips to dads on the weekend where we miss out on including him in family outings and get togethers.

We had our beautiful daughter 6 months ago tomorrow.

We got officially engaged 4 days ago!! YAY!



We lost a couple people this year...that was the bad part. They are loved and missed very much.

My wishes for 2010 are this:

~Happiness and health for all those I know and love.

~Financial stability (which has been pretty good in the last 6 months so I hope it continues!)

~A beautiful wedding that goes off without a hitch...only 10.5 months away!

2009 was a very memorable year for me. I turned 30 and almost all my dreams came true!! 2010 will be just as memorable because the last of my BIG dreams...my wedding...will be coming true. I'm very much looking forward to this year.

What do you wish for this year?

Much love! xo

Chapter Two - The Chase

When I met him, I didn't have any expectations that it would go anywhere. I was only 16 and he was 21 with a 1 year old daughter. Right away my gut told me he was too old for me, I tended to date younger guys. The group that hung out there was fun though so I continued to go back a few times to hang out and get high. Because that's what we did when we were 16 with no rules...we smoked pot. It wasn't until a few months later that I realized I hated the high and stopped smoking it all together. I already didn't drink because I didn't like the feeling it left me with, not to mention my vomitting phobia.

One night, I decided not to go there for whatever reason and he called me and convinced me to come anyway, he would make me dinner. No one had ever made me dinner except my mom so I agreed and he came and picked me up on his bike. Our dinner consisted of Lipton's chicken noodle soup and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches eaten at the coffee table on the floor. I hated the way he ate. He chewed with his mouth open and belched while we were eating. It drove me nuts and was enough for me to make the decision that I would not be dating him. We hung out a bit longer and then I made an excuse about forgetting medication that I'd left at "home" where I was staying and left. I hadn't planned on returning.

Over the course of the week following he called everyday and tried to hang out. Being as young as I was and not always the "popular" one, I enjoyed the attention and finally agreed to go over there again. I met his daughter and fell in love with her, she was adorable and liked me well enough it seemed. He said he liked how I cared for her and said he'd like to have another someday. It was the bait and hook he'd needed to reel me right in. I'd wanted a baby for as long as I could remember. Yes, even at that age. I knew people would be mad. I didn't care. I had lived my life full of trying to make people like/love me the way I'd needed to be loved. I only wanted to be accepted and I knew at a very young age that my child would love me for who I was and I wouldn't need to "try" with them. There would be instant and uninhibited love. I so wanted that. I so needed that.

Chapter One - The Introduction

A lot of pretty crappy things have happened between my ex and I and our son in the 13years I have known him. He has done things, I have done things and our son has been put in the middle on numerous occasions. I have made BIG mistakes and plenty of them. In my defense, I was only 17 when I had him and knew nothing of being a parent and to top it off I had every adult I knew tell me I couldn't do it and bring parenting at a young age into a negative light so often that I almost gave up.

There were people who would do whatever they could to help me fail and people who helped if they thought it would benefit them. Either way, when I grew up some and realized just how much I loved my son and remembered why I'd had him in the first place, it was no question that I needed to fight as hard as I could to get him back. It was a long hard road that saw me kicked many times while I was already down so far I didn't think I could get any lower.

It all started when I was 16 years old. I had a pretty crappy life living at home. My step father was not very nice to me and treated me like the middle step child I was and my mother worked a lot and had her own issues and either didn't see or chose not to see. Either way, just about everything was all my fault. I had more chores than a teenager should have because I did my little brothers share as well. When my older step brother lived with us I was called names and treated poorly every day...I have proof of this on a home movie from 1990. But, I digress, the point I was getting at was that I left home at 16, all of that was a part of the reason why.

I lived with friends on and off, here and there and eventually moved to Welland. I acted like a typical 16 year old with no rules...I walked to the store at 4am in my sock feet just because I could. I went to Tim Horton's at all hours of the night because no one was telling me I needed to be in at a certain time...I had never had that before. Having to be home at 9pm when all of your friends are allowed out til 11pm is a BIG drag and makes you feel like a HUGE loser when you're 16 years old.

Anyway, during one of my late night visits to Timmy's, I saw a girl I hadn't seen in years. We went to grade school together and she left after Grade 5. After talking for a few minutes she said, "OMG YOU'LL BE PERFECT FOR MY UPSTAIRS NEIGHBOUR!!!" and we made plans to get together the next night.

On being treated like garbage

Someone owes me some money. I was supposed to get some of it on the 13th and didn't find out until the evening of the 13th that I wouldn't be getting any until the 30th. The other person involved normally emails me to let me know what is going on. She didn't and didn't respond to the two emails I sent. So I texted said person that owes me money. In turn, I received a harsh text message that basically said, "You'll get what you get when you get it" because he "didn't have much time to write". I argued that a "I'm not sure I'll let you know asap" would have taken the same amount of time as the text I did receive but, whatever. I then received an email from the female party basically asking "how dare I" contact the male party as he is busy with his new job and has been away training and doesn't know what's going on with the situation and that he had already let me know that I was getting $X amount of money on or about December 1st. In the same email I was also told that I was basically asking for too much and that I was receiving 1 payment a month which is all that is required and so I should, in not so many words, shut up and take what I'm getting, I'll get the rest when it's convienient. Then, even though it is the male party who owes this money, I was told by the female party not to bother the male party about it again. I again had to argue, if you knew money was coming to you, would you not want to know how much and when? Is this an unreasonable request? I think not.

To say the least, this really PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF.

When I sent the text message, all I was asking was when and how much. I did NOT demand anything. I did not threaten anyone. And I sure as shit wasn't rude about it. However, I get nothing but ignorance back. From people that asked me to do them a favour by not having authority involved in the money payment. I agreed. I usually do, because typically? I'm not an unreasonable, unagreeable person. These people do nothing but cause me grief.

If it's not one thing, it's another...and I really would like to post the extent of it but I won't due to privacy issues...but really...this is just the tip of the iceberg and I could go on and on...I could probably write a book detailing the crap that has gone on. What I really want to do is say screw it and take it to a higher level and force payments. Then I don't have to deal with thier inability to communicate civilly at all.


GRR.


Anyway...

Early Birthday Surprise, complete with Nikki Payne!

So, because I have the best future husband in the WORLD, I was pleasantly surprised yesterday by a birthday dinner that I had no idea about!! It was so wonderful to have everyone there for my birthday, even being a month early, because usually no one can make it so close to Christmas!

We had dinner and then watched a comedy show including Nikki Payne who we met in the lobby (!), as well as Johnny Gardhouse, Paul Haywood, Dave Hudson, Terry McGurrin, Marc Sinodinos, Winston Spear, Mark Walker, Pete Zedlacher, and Mark Matthews (it was a benefit show called Komedy for Kidneys, all Canadian performers)!!! It was AWESOME and totally unforgettable and if it was at all possible to love him more, I do!!!

In response to an anonymous comment

I received a comment in response to my last post about how ridiculous this whole swine flu thing is and I wanted to respond here because otherwise I wasn't sure if it would be read and the commenter had implied that I was uneducated about the shot and I wanted to defend myself about that because that is certainly not the case.

I had a debate with someone else about this yesterday as well and I'm really starting to wonder if the majority of the public is just that naive that they think that our health care system and government are really that trustworthy that they won't do something to line their pockets even more...

This shot is NOT well researched. It is new. It has not been widely tested and I do NOT trust it.

There is a ton of media hype...but not only that, there is gov't, health care and doctor hype too.

This vaccine may be made like all the other ones however there are signifigant risks associated with injecting yourself with not only Thiomersal but also with Squalene which has not been found to be completely safe.

It's not the use of the virus that I worry about...it's all the other shit that they put in it. And if you read about Thiomersal and the toxicology, it states that it is incredibly dangerous upon inhalation, ingestion and contact with the skin yet we are injecting this into us??? Yeah, that sounds ok to me *rolls eyes*.

The commenter said:

"In reality, the risk of a really nasty flu far outweighs the risk of the vaccine. Even if you don't care if you get the flu, I do. I care that you could easily spread it to others who may not tolerate it (infants, elderly, people with compromised immune systems, ets)."

Yes, this is a REALLY nasty flu. However, I know of several people who have contracted it (been tested and diagnosed) who, while have been very sick, have recovered just fine.

People die from this flu. That is a truth. But people die from the regular flu. People can die from the common cold if they get sick enough for it to develop into something else like pneumonia. The truth is, we can't be sure what is going to kill us...including a flu or a vaccine. A few statistics and bits of info I think are important to take into consideration if you are contemplating this shot:

*The World Health Organization (WHO) has classified the 2009 spread of a novel H1N1 avian/swine/human influenza virus as a ‘pandemic’. But numerous doctors have remarked that it has been no more deadly or disabling than seasonal influenza virus that circulates yearly.

* Human trials only just began in mid-August. It’s unethical to recommend a vaccine which hasn’t even received the usual minimal safety testing let alone long term testing.

*A recent WHO Press Conference confirmed that there is no safety data regarding the use of squalene adjuvanted vaccines for pregnant women, asthmatics and children between the ages of 6 months to 3 years. Yet both pregnant women and young children are targeted groups on the priority list for injection, along with health care providers.

*The vaccination program for the 1976 swine flu "pandemic" was discontinued after 3 weeks due to the unexpected outcome. Over 500 cases of Guillain-Barre Syndrome, a paralyzing neurological condition, were reported as a result of vaccination, responsible for 25 deaths. Contrarily, the virus itself was responsible for 1 death and 13 hospitalizations (these are US stats). Experts assure the population that this scenario will not be repeated, because they have tweaked the vaccine into its updated version. However, without adequate preliminary testing, the possibility of unknown side effects must be taken into consideration.

*This is the first year mock vaccines have been used to gain FDA approval. The vaccines that have been tested are not the same vaccines your children will be given.

* 18 reasons why you SHOULDN'T get the vaccine

* Deaths associated with H1N1

*According to the World Health Organization: "Every winter, tens of millions of people get the flu. Most are only ill and out of work for a week, yet the elderly are at a higher risk of death from the illness. We know the worldwide death toll exceeds a few hundred thousand people a year, but even in developed countries the numbers are uncertain, because medical authorities don't usually verify who actually died of influenza and who died of a flu-like illness."

* AS03-Adjuvanted H1N1 Pandemic Influenza Vaccine product information leaflet

RESEARCH BEFORE YOU DECIDE

When I post here like I did yesterday, I am posting MY. OPINION.

I am not a doctor...I am not a scientist and I never claimed to be an expert. However I do know that I feel the risk of the vaccine far outweighs the risk of the flu itself FOR ME AND MY FAMILY.

If you want to get the vaccine, all the power to you, good luck, I hope it works out for you.

If I end up sick, I promise to stay home and wash my hands obsessively as not to spread it further...but I do that with any sickness and therefore this is no different.

I am not relying on those vaccinated to "protect me" at all. I'm relying on those who are sick to stay the fuck home until their better as not to spread it to anyone else!!!

And don't forget, just because you have the vaccine, does not mean you're immune!! You can still contract H1N1 so there are no guarantees. Again, another reason to NOT get it in my opinion.

Ahhhh it's the swine flu!!!!

!!

Seriously...I'm not nearly as panicked as the gov't and media WANT me to be.

Yes, it is a flu. Yes, it can be very serious. Yes, there have been deaths.

No, I'm not in a "priority group" for the vax and NO WE WON'T BE GETTING IT!!!!

I don't feel that this has been researched NEARLY enough. I read the leaflet that comes in the box with the vaccine and there is conflicting information on it. That doesn't make me trust ANYONE involved with it. I've been hearing all about the mercury in it and this other stuff that is not good for you as well as all the side effects that could happen including paralysis....YEAH, SIGN ME UP! *rolls eyes*

I don't know why so many people put their faith in this shit. The mass media hype...the way they are PUSHING this on everyone...the fact that 17 people have died from it and yet 3-4 thousand people die from the regular flu every year?

It SCREAMS at me that something is not right about it.

I ask everyone who is even THINKING about getting this shot to PLEASE research it. I really believe that it is dangerous and that the other shoe is about to drop about what could happen to you if you DO get it.

Over and out.

Random with pictures

Ok, I know it's been a month...sorry! Sometimes I forget that people do still read even if they don't comment and really I should be writing more because it's such a great outlet for me. Anyway...I'll try not to forget anymore and I may even try to do that November Blog everyday thing this year...we'll see :)

So, where to start?

I am still in wedding mode BIG time...I now have my bouquet prototype, 24 favours done (probably more, I just started today and I'm not finished working on them, just taking a break)
, my shoes, my dress (half paid for)(no pictures for this either, saving it for the wedding day :)), our reception hall, Marryn's dress (minus the flower, it's detatchable), my bridesmaids gifts (though they will be decorated some how and that part isn't done yet), a church and the invitations (which was what started all of this to begin with hehe). I'm definitely on a roll and as of today there are 12 months and 9 days til our wedding!

Jer is working CRAZY hours right now...7 days a week, 12.5 hours a day for the next couple of weeks. Great for the money, not so much for the time spent with the family but knowing this isn't forever and it's helping us in the long run makes it easier. It will be a nice Christmas he says :)


James is well...on the Volleyball team at school, I'm so proud of him for doing stuff like that! He is still dealing with dad stuff but I try to make it as easy as I can for him. He's not going to his dad's bootcamp graduation in a couple of weeks and know it's making him sad. He really wanted to go but apparently dad didn't get the paperwork in when he was supposed to or something like that and then they also won't have time to drive him home because they're moving a couple of hours away the same weekend...it's a big mess and honestly I'm kind of glad he's not going because the last time he was with them, the woman dad is with sent James home because he was "misbehaving and didn't deserve to be there"...BS but what can you do...I don't want him to have to deal with something like that again.

Jonah is also well...that said, there isn't too much to report on him...he's spledidly uneventful :) He still says the cutest things like, after being given a new ball by a saleslady at the fashion for fats store, "I love balls!!!" to which I cannot help but laugh...even though it's inappropriate to laugh lol...and to which he asked me why I was laughing, and I said nothing, and he said "Are you laughing at Marryn?" and said yes...because what would you have said?? lol



Marryn is also blissfully well :D She's growing so fast...4 months already and so adorable you could eat her little fingers as an appetizer for the rest of her hehe. I think she's getting a tooth though so once in a while she's a bit bitchy...to be expected though ;)

Other than that, not much is happening...I'm baking bread
like crazy (it's SO good and of course we've all gained 5lbs since I bought the bread machine lol) and baking other stuff more frequently now that my mom has lent me her kitchen aid mixer.

I'm toying with the idea of taking a baking course at the college in the relatively distant future...definitely wouldn't be for a couple of years but I think it's something I'd really enjoy doing.

So I hope everyone is as well as we are...because we are pretty great :D

Much love :)

Horseshoe

So it seems I've a bit of a horseshoe in my behind the last couple of...well, weeks really...about 3-4 weeks ago I was at a candle party and they were doing a draw to win $100 in free product and I won it....then we attended a bridal show on Sunday and won something from one of the travel agencies that were there (we are picking it up tonight, I'm not sure what it is)...Then yesterday I totally found $10 on the ground when I was walking to get Jonah from the bus! I had my own candle party last night and we did that same draw that I won last time and I used my $10 that I found to buy my chances and I WON AGAIN!! I also won several other small prizes throughout the evening and then won the friggin door prize too!! But instead of taking the door prize, because it was my party, I made them draw again and they picked Jer's sister so she got to take the prize home. I think a lottery ticket or trip to the casino or bingo is in order!!

I remember where I was

I had just picked up James from kindergarten and we went to my mother's house for lunch...she was already watching when I got there. I had went back to bed when I got home from dropping James off from school so I didn't find out until around lunch. I was glued to the tv for 3 days. It was so amazing to me that something like this could even happen...that many lives lost and over what?

Today I will sit in quiet reflection for those who's lives were selfishly taken...I won't get into how I think the US gov't had something to do with it...I will just remember that each one of those people who were innocently killed have family grieving somewhere today. I'm sure it's like opening the wound all over again...especially because there is always some sort of memorial thing on tv.

What were you doing when you found out? Did you cry like I did? Did you pour yourself over the internet and tv months later trying to make sense of it all like I did? Did you watch the youtube videos that claim there is a devil in the one fire and this or that in something/somewhere else? Did you listen to the 911 tapes from those who had cell phones on the planes?

Did it make you hug your loved ones closer and thank the universe that they are still here?

Remembering those innocent lives lost on September 11, 2001...may you all rest in peace.

Lyric's Fight

I mentioned in my last post about my friends little guy who is fighting AML Leukemia...you can view her blog here: Lyric's Fight

She'll be posting updates about his progress there and now that she has a blog I won't be putting up a donate button, I'm going to ask her if she'd consider doing it...then any donations are going directly to her.

Please wander on over there and leave a supportive comment because she could really use it right now.

More bad news

This past week a VERY good friend of mine had her son (who is like 9) diagnosed with AML leukemia. It happened soooo fast! He literally didn't feel good and had a sore neck for a week, had tests at the children's hospital on Monday and was diagnosed and by Wednesday he'd already had his first round of chemo.

I'm SO, SO sad for her and her family. She's had sooo much on her plate in the last few months and she's such a good person who tries to live healthy and only feed her children healthy food...she does not deserve this.

There will be several fundraisers for them in the near future...anyone reading that lives near me and you want details, I'll be posting them as I get them and I would appreciate ANY support you can give to this family. I've thought about possibly putting up a donate button on here but not sure if I will yet...what do you think?


In other better news, everything is good with my own family (Thank God for that!!!). Marryn is 9 weeks old now and she's getting SOOO big!!! Jonah just turned 5 and goes back to school on the 2nd (and I can't wait!) and James starts grade 7 on the 8th. Boy time flies! He'll be going to camp or Ottawa for his end of the year trip this year. The camp is the same one I went to for my grade 8 end of the year trip and I had a blast there so I'm hoping he gets to go!

Jer and I are well also, we just put down half of our deposit on our reception venue yesterday...boy did that ever make it feel real!!! I also bought my wedding shoes today for FIVE DOLLARS!!! Check them out :)


Anyway, that's it for now...I'll update again soon about my friend's son and the fundraisers...tell me if I should put the donate button up...absolutely all donations will go directly to their family.

Sadness, grief, and anxiety...

This was a very tragic weekend for our family. On Thursday night, Jer found out that their good family friend had passed away from a heart attack at the young age of 51. They were all very close and it was very sad. He went to the viewing on Friday night and then the funeral on Saturday.

Then, just a couple of hours after he got home from the funeral and while we were cooking dinner, we got word that his 4 year old cousin drowned in his pool. When we got the call he still had a faint heartbeat but it didn't look good...he didn't make it through the night. That funeral will be sometime this week...it will be an open casket. I cannot go. I just. Can't.

Is it wrong that it makes my heart jump into my throat when I even THINK about having to see that little 4 year old boy laid out in a box??? I have such bad anxiety about it that I feel like I will throw up (which in turn gives me more anxiety because of my emetophobia)...is it selfish that I can't go? I can't physically bring myself to walk into that funeral home for the viewing alone?

I will attend the funeral but I will be staying as far away from the casket as I possibly can.

I guess it probably has something to do with the fact that I have a little boy about the same age as him and that just 3 weeks ago he and Jonah played in Jer's dads pool together. It makes me think horrible thoughts and makes me want to sit 3 feet from the pool everytime Jonah is even near it (instead of the 10 feet away I normally sit).

My deepest condolences and sympathies go out to Damien's parents...I can't imagine what they're going through. I would no longer be able to function as a normal human being were it me in their shoes.

RIP Damien...you will be missed.

Yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah :)

So this will be a random smattering of things going on but I felt I should update again, it's been a while since I updated "goodly" lol...

First of all, I'm SO excited and VERY pleased to announce that I will be getting MARRIED on October 30, 2010!!! Up until now we had played around with some dates and discussed far away details of the future wedding we knew we would one day have but NOW...we went and signed the contract for our reception hall which also happens to be our ceremony site as well...the ball is rolling and the date is now set in stone...10/30/10!!! I do have a wedding blog that I'll be updating and posting pictures of the progress...it's on my side bar in the list of blogs I read under "My Wedding Blog" if you want to check it out (Boho mom, check out my banner...made it myself, yep I did!).

Secondly, Marryn is going on 6 weeks old already! HOW THE HELL DOES THE TIME GO SO FAST??? It seemed to be going backward when I was pregnant with her but now it's just flying and she's over a month old already! She's not smiling quite yet but you can see it won't be long until she is. Isn't she sweet?






And lastly, everyone else is doing well...I just got over a bout of mastitis which SUCKED ROYALLY and I had a fever of 104 but I'm much better now. James just got home from a long visit with his dad and we're so glad to have him home...we missed him big time! Jonah will be 5 on Sunday...it feels like yesterday that it was him laid out on my lap nursing for hours!

Hope everyone is well!

Happy 1st Birthday!

Surrobabe Niko is a year old today!! That went fast!

Welcome Marryn

Marryn Grace Kathryn
Wednesday June 17th, 2009 @ 9:41pm
7lbs 11oz
18 1/4 inches

Everything is wonderful!!!

Wednesday June 17th, 2009

IS BABY DAY!!!

I'm scheduled for an induction at 7:30am...so excited!

:D:D:D

37 Weeks

Officially Full Term!

At my last Dr's appointment I explained to him how I am in complete and utter pain most of the time...I have become non-functional. I can't walk anywhere without starting to sweat from the pain...I can't do stairs, I haven't slept in my own bed in months...it's HORRIBLE! So, even though he's told me several times that there is nothing we can do about the pain but wait it out, at the last appointment, he also said that if everything is ok at my appointment tomorrow that we'll "tentatively book me for an induction on the 18th" at 38 weeks 1 day. He said he wanted to make sure that she will be ok to breathe on her own and all that good baby type stuff so we'll see how it goes tomorrow.

We had our shower about a week and a half ago as well and it went awesome. I'm so thankful to everyone who helped and came out to celebrate our new baby girl! I got SOOOO many clothes! Seriously, I don't think I will have to do laundry, she'll have a different outfit everyday until she's at LEAST a year old!!! Way different from my boys showers where I got "useful" baby care items like soap and receiving blankets instead of clothes...I have come to the conclusion that it's because girls clothes tend to not only be cuter (and of course PINK!)but there is a WAY bigger selection of girls clothes to choose from. Either way, we're very grateful for all of our gifts! Thank you!!!

In other news, summer is almost here (HURRAH!), I'm so excited to let the boys sleep in in the mornings...Jonah has been SO tired since our move because his bus comes ridiculously early. Poor kid...twice I've let him stay home because he was so tired and both times he slept until after 10am! Yesterday I let him sleep in and took him to school late because he just wouldn't go to sleep the night before. I'll be happy when we can just go with the flow and get up and go about our day when we feel like it...though I know by the end of the summer they'll be driving me crazy and I'll be counting down the days til school starts again!! Same old thing every year hehehe.

So, that's about it for an update for now...I'll keep you posted on baby day as I know more!

Thanks for still reading my sparse posts...I haven't been up to/in the mood to post in the last little while with all the pain I've been in. I can't wait for everything to be done so that we can come home with our baby girl and get on with life and I can go back to being a stay at home mom instead of a stay at home lump on the couch because it hurts to much to do anything!!!