Children's Aid/FACS.....yay.

Well we went to the lawyer yesterday to start the adoption with him....and he informed us that we will probably have to have a home study done by FACS.



I. HATE. FACS.

They are the WORST organization to deal with and to have to invite them into my home scares the SHIT out of me.

They can do whatever they want....and I know this because of what has happened to me in the past.

I'm afraid that they may hinder this process for us....and if they do that, the shit will hit the fan because I will most likely take my story to the media at that point.

After having my 7 year old son left in a home where they had JUST removed pot plants, be it 2 or 28, I think the media would have a hayday with that one!

So, I guess we'll see how it goes.

Meme

Not tagging anyone, do it if you feel like it!

1. What I was doing five years ago:
~Being severely depressed and slightly crazy....

2. Five things on my to-do list:
~ laundry
~ clean the porch
~ find a job I can do from home
~ make a payment to ICS before they decide they won't let me graduate because I owe them money all the time :S
~ find a new book to read

3. Five favourite smells:
~ patchouli
~ comet cleanser (though this will change when I'm not pregnant anymore)
~ pine sol (see above)
~ bon-fires
~ Karma soap from Lush

4. Five junk-food items I enjoy:
~ fast food of just about any kind
~ chocolate
~ pepperettes
~ cream soda
~ chips and dip

5. Five favourite articles of clothing:
~ maternity yoga pants
~ maternity capri yoga pants lol
~ maternity shorts (might as well be yoga shorts lol)
~ grey flimsy maternity shirt
~ maternity sweater
*I like all of these articles of clothing even when I'm not pregnant....they're just TOOOOO comfortable to put them away...so I wear them around the house lol

6. Five things I would do if I was a billionaire:
~ make sure my family & friends had everything they needed
~ build a brand new custom house with like 8 bedrooms and have more children!
~ open a home for unwed teen mothers that does NOT insist on preaching to them through out their entire pregnancy...
~ go on vacation for as long as I feel like
~ send my kids to private school

7. Five of my bad habits:
~ I'm needy...can't help it
~ I'm addicted to chapstick
~ I procrastinate too much
~ I like to get my own way :S
~ I am too forgiving...like even when I shouldn't be....it's bad....

8. Five jobs I've had:
~ China Star...most horrible job I ever had in my whole life.
~ telemarketer
~ Food Basics cashier
~ Subway Sandwich Artist
~ Car financing/admin assistant

9. Five all time favourite movies:
~ Almost Famous
~ Circle of Friends
~ Empire Records
~ Girl, Interupted
~ Napoleon Dynamite

10. Five favourite bands/musicians:
~ Ani DiFranco
~ Incubus
~ Beatles
~ Maroon 5
~ Cake

Third Trimester

27 weeks 5 days.....I think he may be a big baby!

Information that would have been useful LAST THURSDAY.

Well, the court house called. *sigh*..............................*rolls eyes*

We need a certified copy of the statement of live birth (that will cost $35.00 and can only be paid for with a credit card) before they will even look at the application.

Also, "things need to be consistent!" according to the lady on the phone...

What things you might ask? Things such as the names on the forms....it seems we've put different names as the person who was applying. I asked for an example.

Lady: "Well, on one form, you have J.M.L listed as the applicant, and on another one you have J.L. listed as the applicant." *Note, that the J's and L's are the EXACT SAME NAME.

Me: "Yes, well some of the forms asked for 'Name' and the others asked for 'Full name', hence why we've written M, J's middle name on some of the forms but not the others."

Lady: "Well, it has to be consistent."

Me: *sigh*

So, in short, she told me that she's never seen a Step-Parent Adoption be accepted and or finalized without legal representation.

Me: "So why didn't someone tell us that we wouldn't be successful without legal representation when we came in to file the application in the first place on Thursday of last week?"

Lady: "I didn't say that it wouldn't be successful without legal representation."

Me: "Well, that's it in a nutshell, no? If you've never seen it happen, then we had best get some representation?"

Lady: "Well, it would be wise if you want this to go through and not be delayed, yes."

Me: *sigh*

Lady: "Would you like me to mail your paper work back to you?"

Me: "Well, I guess so, seeing as you can't do anything with it anyway...*rolls eyes*"



UGH.

So, I called my lawyer...so much for this not costing anything. I'll wait for the paper work to come back, order the statement of live birth (certified copy none the less which costs $10 more than the regular birth certificate, why that won't do I don't know), and make an appointment with my lawyer to start the paper work all over again so that it's CONSISTENT.

My lawyer's assistant says that even with legal representation the court house is ridiculously meticulous about the paper work for adoption...

Information that would have been useful when I picked up the forms to start this process in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why can't they just tell you that from the start???

With a side of sarcasm, please?

Why is it that everytime I go to the court house to do something, the bitch*AHEM* lady behind the counter won't volunteer ANY information at all or if she does, she's super sarcastic about it? Do they take lessons???? JEEZ!

Conversation today while at the court house filing the adoption papers:

Lady: You're going to attempt to do this without a lawyer?

Us: Yes, it would appear that way....

L: Ok, is this everything?

U: Yes...are we missing something?

L: No.

U: *thinking to myself, then why are you asking if this is everything?????*

L: Ok, we'll call you...

U: Call us?

L: Yes, well, you can't expect it to be done on the spot!

U: Well no, but what do you mean call us, don't you give us a court date?

L: No, we'll give this to the clerk and when she's satisfied that it's complete she'll give it to the judge to make the order, if you want to attend, we'll set up a time for that, otherwise you don't need to be here for it to be finalized.

U: Oh, ok, so if something isn't complete you'll let us know and then we will finish what needs to be finished and bring it back in again?

L: Well, no, we can't tell you how to complete it....

U: No, I'm not asking you how to complete it but someone will at least let us know WHAT IT IS that's not complete, right??

L: Oh, yes.

U: Ok...that's all I wanted to know, thanks...we'll wait for your call *ROLLING EYES*


Like really??? And it's that way EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I know they're not allowed to give legal advice but COME ON. At least EXPLAIN to me what you're saying...you may have done this 100 times but this is MY first time....

So, now we sit and wait, and from the way she put it, it sounds like it could be a while before we hear anything. *sigh*

Sunday Scribblings - The Photograph

This is a picture of my father who passed away from lung cancer last June. This is an important/special picture because it was taken about a week before he passed. This photo will always remind me why I don't want to smoke (I am a former smoker) and will always be what I come back to if I ever feel like I want to smoke.





This picture really doesn't represent the man he was:







From top left: My father, my sister Cory, my sister Jenny (who is also passed)
In front: My step mother Barb and Baby me....

Baby Mama...

There is a new movie about surrogacy coming out in April...I don't know how I feel about it yet, I'm hoping it's not something that is going to continue to paint surrogacy in a negative light....but, when it comes out I will definitely see it and then make my decision then....until then, here is the trailer if anyone is interested....

http://movies.aol.com//movie/baby-mama/27651/video/trailer-no-1/2052979

"I just don't get it..." Sunday Scriblings...

"I just don't get it..."

Wow, this is such a huge statement for me...there are a lot of things that I just don't get...but my main one is about my first custody battle with my oldest.

Sometimes it's hard for me to write about this because there is SO much that I have to say about it. I wasn't always the ideal mother to him...he was born a month before my 18th birthday and even with all the support I had, I had just as much negative comments and such kicking me while I was down about being a young mother who wasn't old enough to take care of him and be the proper parent to him. It was the hardest when people just took over his care....it finally got to the point where I didn't CARE who was taking care of him because according to everyone else, they could do it better than I could anyway.

After FINALLY realizing that I WAS the best parent for him...after soooo many things I'd over-looked because "I was too young to know what to do with him anyway"...I finally woke up and said THIS IS NOT RIGHT. MY SON SHOULD NOT BE RAISED BY THESE PEOPLE.

It was too late....his father and step mother had decided they weren't going to let me see him anymore. They never really did tell me why...just gave me bullshit excuses about my "anger"...which I did have....towards THEM.

I finally stepped up and decided to go and file papers for custody.

If anyone has EVER gone through a custody battle in Ontario, you know our justice system is NOT what it should be.

I called Family and Children's Services with concerns about the pot that my son's father was growing in his basement. I also called the police.

I was right...there was pot growing....28 plants to be exact.

And here is where "I just don't get it..."

They removed the plants....and didn't charge him with anything...in fact he wasn't disciplined at all. He got off scott free even though he was growing marijuana....which one assumes was for the purpose of trafficking because I don't think one grows 28 plants for personal use...and even if it was only for personal use, is it not illegal to grow and possess in this country???

FACS did nothing as well. The kids were allowed to remain in the home (which was far from happy but that's another story for another time).

If it were ME that had done what he had done, with my luck (which is ALWAYS bad luck lol) I would have been arrested and had my kids taken away immediately. I just don't get it.

After all of the things we'd gone through with FACS and the police and everything in between....I lost that first custody battle. I was given every other weekend access.

I just don't get it....................................

Thankfully, we've gone through a second custody battle...I won this one and now have my son living with me full time and going to his fathers on weekends... :)

He signed!!

Just a quick update...he was there when I went to pick him up and he signed the adoption consent!!

So now we wait the mandatory 21 days that he has to withdraw his consent (which he won't, I doubt I'll even see or hear from him for a LEAST a few years now) and then we can file all the paperwork with the court and get our court date. I don't think it will take more than one court date and my little man will legally be my OH's son!! Yay!!!

Here's a pic of me at 23 weeks 6 days pregnant with baby N...

It's Spring now!!

Happy First Day Of Spring!!!

Not a whole lot to report at the moment....24 weeks today, which according to what I've read is "viability" if I was to go into preterm labour (which I have NO intentions of doing!!)....so, good milestone!!

Other than that I'm trying to deal with step parent adoption issues.

Long story short, my youngest is 3...my other half is the only dad he's ever known. Bio dad is just not around, hasn't paid support and doesn't bother us which was good...up until I tried to register my little man in the French school...at which point they told me that unless my OH is LEGALLY his father, the fact that he speaks fluent french makes no difference. Either me or bio dad HAVE to speak fluent french or he's NOT ENTITLED to a french education....which alone PISSED ME RIGHT OFF. Not entitled????? Is this not a french english speaking country??? Ugh. Anyway...we decided that we would work at getting the adoption papers in order...I had asked bio dad about a year ago if he would sign over his rights and of course he said sure, he doesn't care as long as he doesn't have to do anything.

Well. He has to do something. He has to consent...in front of a lawyer....who will tell him "what his rights are and what he's giving up". Another thing that just pisses me off about the whole situation....understandable for some teenager who doesn't really know what they're getting into...but this guy DOES NOT HAVE ANY RIGHTS in my opinion. My youngest was planned and when I was 6 weeks pregnant, bio dad just stopped coming home! He wasn't there while I was pregnant and he wasn't there when he was born. He came to the hospital once after I had him and held him for 5 minutes. He's seen him a handful of times in his 3.5 years...in the last 2 of those years he's seen him for a total of 10 minutes. He has not paid the support that was ordered by the courts....how does that give him ANYTHING? In my opinion, he's abandoned his child.

So here is where I stand.

I've contacted him to get him to sign this consent...we went to two free legal clinics and one lawyer was unable to sign with him because he'd already signed papers with my OH regarding the same issue and it would be a conflict of interest...the other one flat out REFUSED to sign because "it was just too touchy an issue and he doesn't know anything about the case" (not to mention this is the same lawyer that fought for my oldests father to continue having full custody after the man had 28 pot plants removed from his house....oh did I mention he WON???? GRRR.)....so I was left with no choice but to make an appointment with a NOT free lawyer...$175 + GST to get him to sign this piece of paper with bio dad.

After the last free appointment I had yelled at bio dad because when the lawyer started beeking to him about his rights he just sat there and didn't say anything...it made me look like I was FORCING the issue when I am TOTALLY not. So I yelled and told him that he can't have it both ways, either be there, every single weekend to be with my son and pay the support and be a father OR SIGN THE FUCKING PAPER so that someone else who WANTS to be his father legally and already IS his father every other way CAN BE. He didn't say anything (surprise, surprise) and said to call him when I had the appointment with the lawyer.

So I did. And I called, and called and called.....we have an appointment at 11am. I left a note in his mailbox after trying to call three times just so that he would be aware of the appointment time and date. I left my cell phone number yet again so that he could call to let me know that he got the note.

He. Has. Not. Called.

I'm still going to try to pick him up today...but I have a feeling he is going to stiff me, not be there and not be where I can get a hold of him to get this ONE piece of paper signed so that my son can LEGALLY have the father he deserves.

Asshole.

If he isn't there today that brings us to plan B. File the paperwork we DO have, get a court date, serve him with said papers, wait for him not to show up, get a new court date (for his second chance), wait for him to not show up again and then have the judge take his rights away from him involuntarily....which is a perfectly good plan except that it won't be done by September....when my little man starts school.

Anyone a lawyer???????

How's everyone else??

Is it SPRING yet???? ugh.

Could it get any whiter?

I've been tagged!

The rules are to link the person who sent this and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours.
~Post the rules on your blog
~Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself
~Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and link their blog
~Let each person know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

1. I'm double jointed and can bend the first finger of my left hand all the way back to touch the back of my hand (and it usually grosses people out! lol)

2. I am emetophobic and it affects the decisions I make in my everyday life and gives me panic and anxiety issues.

3. I don't eat things that swim....see #2 lol...

4. I have Olfactory Pica during pregnancy (The practice of pica during pregnancy is described in contemporary literature as the ingestion of nonfood substances and food staples in response to craving. A previously unnamed practice, olfactory craving of pregnancy, is the smelling by pregnant women of selected substances in response to craving, which may occur alone or with pica.) and crave the smell of cleaning products, mainly Comet these last two pregnancies but with my first it was PineSol...I clean the bathroom everyday lol....

5. I cannot live without Aveeno Hand Lotion, Green Chapstick and Gingerale (preferably Canada Dry lol)...life does not work without them!

6. Jer (my S.O.) says I can pick up pretty much any instrument and play it...I CAN attest to the fact that I taught myself to play guitar and bass...but I've not tried many other instruments...lol

7. I had my first child a month before I turned 18...and he wasn't an "oops"...most people look at me like I have three heads when I tell them that...but I've wanted children and to be pregnant since I was like 11 years old!

I only have a couple of people I know as bloggers so I tag you all that come here and read this and haven't done it already!

Thanks Ruth, you gave me something to write about, and it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be!!!!

21 weeks tomorrow...

Here's my big belly at just shy of 21 weeks....

I can't believe how big I've gotten in just 4 weeks...

Not much else to report really, just thought I'd share!

It's a Boy!

Well, the u/s went very well, the little guy is doing great. We had the IPS screen done and everything came back negative and normal so he's one healthy little peanut!

I'm doing well, I'm almost 20 weeks, half way to due! I have a belly now too (this pic taken at 17 weeks):

Mom and Dad are very excited that they're expecting a son. :)

Not really much else to report...I will update again soon!

We've just regressed about 25 years...

http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_19065.aspx

I'm so sad. I can't even comment about this right now....but I will....soon.

Calling all readers...

Please...I'm begging you....help break me out of this writers block!!!

I'm asking that you post a comment with something you would like to know about me or hear my opinion on or see me write about!

In other news, 13.5 weeks pregnant, not sick anymore and starting to get a belly! As soon as I take a picture I will post it here as well.

The big ultrasound is on Valentine's Day this year and the baby's parents would like to know the sex so we will be finding that out (that is if baby cooperates!) on that day as well.

Sunday Scribblings

Holiday Memories

There are a ton of memories from the holidays that I could share....a lot of heart warming stories of family and full bellies....

But this year, my memory of the holidays will be different.....this year, I will have to remember that not only is it the day of the Birth of Christ.....but it is also the day of death of my sister.

December 25th is changed forever for me now. I will always have great memories and good times on Christmas Day....but they will be a little more bittersweet now...

Jenny,

I miss you so much everyday...and because we hadn't seen each other in so long before you passed, I can almost imagine that you're still just in North Bay, doing your thing, living your life. But then I snap back to reality and remember that I will never, ever answer the phone again and hear you answering back, "Hey, Brat!".

I hope that you have a great Christmas this year....the best you ever had. I will be thinking about you all day...and I will visit you and Dad at the cemetary at some point just to say hi...I know you're not really there but it gives me a place to go in private and talk to "nothing". I know you're both there listening and that brings me more comfort than you know.

Wherever you are.....Merry Christmas big sister....we all love and miss you so very much.

Love, Brat.

I'm ready

I finished all my Christmas shopping in TWO days this year! It sucked, but it's done. Now, on with the holiday, the sooner, the better. I like Christmas but hate the rush...it seems like everything has to be done NOW...there is no time to breathe!

In other news, I'm 11 weeks and 2 days pregnant now...just a short 5 days from the 2nd Trimester already! WOO! It's gone by fairly quickly too...thank God for that!

I totally don't have much else to say....sadly, I'm boring these days. :(

I put it out there before, if you want to know something, leave me a comment....I'd be happy to answer/comment about it if it gives me something to write about!! Hopefully, I'll be more interesting after the holidays otherwise!

Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate....Happy Whatever-You-Celebrate to those of you who don't!

10 Weeks

WOW! I'm 10 weeks pregnant already! I can't beleive how quickly time is going....definitely not like with my own where I felt like it was taking forever!

Everything seems to be going well with baby...I'm doing better and not quite as sick anymore. I'm VERY happy about that...

I don't have a whole lot more to write about...so I'm going to call out to you again, anything you want to know/hear about from me, giver! Give me some ideas!!

Today marks the beginning of the 12 days of Christmas....and I only know this because it is my birthday...I'm 28....and I feel old.